Springtime Blues
You'd think that with all the times I'm complaining while at work, I'd have time to consistently update my blog. Oh well, I suck. Moving along...
I guess the term is cabin fever, or whatever else is used to describe being stuck indoors, while weather dearest decides it wants to f**k with us a bit more before it lets us bask in the glory that is pale, sun-deprived pudge, oozing out of those relatively new jeans you bought and fit perfectly in back in August...
Perhaps my mood and reactions would be lighter shade of grey, were I not constantly reminded of the fact that those whom I love and know me best (and are not male) are sorely being missed, and are very, VERY far away.
In most recent events, my discovery of
a friend's February 06, 2007 blog post caused quite a bittersweet reaction. As I read the words that described a feeling that I myself could not articulate for the longest time, I couldn't help but feel a sense of happiness. That while she may be half the world away, we are still able to connect as well as when we were separated by a mere piece of drywall, in a shallow basement, with an emergency fire escape consisting of a wooden 1x5 block and a 3x5 screened window. But with that happiness came that sense of sadness I've come to tolerate, of great friends that I wasn't able to find until I decided to walk my own path, and are sincerely glad to participate in my life with me (I hope...haha).
With warm weather seems to come visits, outings, and just simple, happy times. Probably why I yearn for the sun to come out.
I miss my girlfriends...
Back from Hiatus!
I'm BAAAAAAAAACK!
That's right, I've decided I can no longer hold back the venting-ness that I've done in the past on my blog, I am now back and more filled with word rage ever.
Did that make any sense?
Ok, maybe it has a little bit to do with being at work and having time between immersion meetings and reading training manuals...what can I say?
This is probably going to end up being one of those mega-novels of an update post, so just a warning to go pee and what have you first, cuz you better be giving me your undivided attention after that........ai...who am I kidding? Thanks for just reading this far!
So as some, but maybe not all, might know, I have moved back to Toronto at the beginning of this New Year to start a new job with Starbucks Coffee Canada. I have taken a permanent position with them in the Finance department as an associate for their non-retail businesses (Licensed Stores and Foodservices), so bascially now I'm back in the T-dot till whenever the wind decides to blow me somewhere else. It's exciting since this is my "growned up" job after university, but at the same time it's been quite a bittersweet experience. Having to leave Waterloo, my friends, my beloved roomie...pretty much everything that's become home for me for almost 5 years, has been anything but easy, with no help from the rushed timing of the transition. There's this odd disconnect between me and the house, where it doesn't feel so much like home and moreso just another temporary place. However, I am very lucky to have amazing and unwaivering support from those around me helping me out, to whom I can never give enough thanks.
Meh, forget the uber long post...this'll do for now. More to come so stay tuned!
Word.
Weekend of Discovery
So that's how a normal weekend is supposed to feel like.
For a long while now, I'd all but forgotten how a weekend free of school, work, or Ultimate felt like. Still now I’m in a constant game of catch up, but for a full two and a half days this past weekend, I got to leave that hectic world behind me, and took a step back to breathe.
Friday evening, at Gary's persuasion and planning, the J.C.I. Ulti alumni vs. present (or as I like to call it, the old foggies vs. the youngins) game finally took place. 3 words: Lazy. Ass. D. My goodness it has been waaay too long since I've been reminded how much more energy high school kids have. Needless to say, I poached, a lot. It was great to see so many people out though, and a good feeling knowing I've been part of Jarvis Ultimate. Million thanks Gary! Keep up the amazing work!
After Ulti, dinner, and gelato (yum!), I got my much needed live music fix from controller.controller + various Paperbag Records bands. Aside from being a little lengthy due to technical difficulties, and the relative lack of enthusiasm from majority of the crowd, it was a great show! Made me want to bang on drums all day for a living hehehe :)
Lazy Saturday rolled around with the best possible start to any day, all-you-can-eat sushi! Thanks Kathy and HAPPY BIRTHDAY UNCLE SIMON! Quick visit to see baby Maya (congrats again Mike and Jess!), downtime at home, then back to the loo for a good night sleep...
...for Sunday, aka Mel and Connie day! and my first ever visit to Elora Gorge. It. Was. Marvellous. Sometimes we get so caught up in things we need to do for tomorrows that we forget to just enjoy the todays. I'd definitely needed a day outside, hiking with a good friend, and just being happy being. Thanks so much Mel for bringing me to see what beauty the Grand River area has to offer, and fo shizzle, tubing next time! Words can't do the sights justice, and neither do my photos, but if you'd like to see them, they're on
my msn space.
Tis my last weekend. con signing off.
School, Life, Chaos, and the Perpetual Search for the PPF
Inspired by the beautiful writings of a friend of a friend, or more correctly, a friend of a sister, I have decided yet again to make the break-the-writing-rut attempt.
----------------Motivated by the recent chaos that has engulfed my life, I am again on the search for an outlet that may hopefully relieve the stress that has consumed my poor brain. As it continues to ride the incredible highs and lows within a short time frame, it may be all too soon before it loses its insides and begins to spill out my ears.
Perhaps it's the exaustion, perhaps it's the worry that's been instilled in me by observing the actions of students in this "generation", or perhaps it's me and my inability to turn off my thoughts, but each day doesn't pass without a moment in which I feel I am grasping blindly at straws. Here, my attempts to find some direction become desperate, and I continue to invest time, sweat, and hope into pursuits that are clearly infeasible. I am locked in a perpetual tail chase. Immobile. Unproductive. Trapped.
These moments are not without their opposites, those incredible times that add to the madness, yet are necessary to keep me sane.* I am scarcely able to remember the exact moments where the train reached the tops of the ride. I do know, however, that at those times, I have been able to smile a true smile and laugh a true laugh.
-----"Restlessness and discontent are the first necessities of progress."
-Thomas A. Edison:-----While my mind is still in constant battle with itself, all of these recent events are not without their conclusions.
I am again strongly motivated to be honest about what makes me who I am. As I read through my past scripts and old postings, I realized that many times I would leave out details that, perhaps small and insignificant to some, can be enough to change an entire perception. Witholding can be just as damaging as intentional deceit, and as continually conflicted as I am, I am no longer afraid to let my flaws be known. I will never be nor expect to be perfect in any perspective. I have made mistakes and will continue to do so, and "I would never undo the past that made me."**
My belief is to leave the choice of continued interaction with me in the hands where they belong, yours.
I had also just recently received an email by my manager to complete my POM write-up for April, in which I was asked "Do you have a dream?". It had indeed been a long time since I had been presented with such a question, and, as I had answered in the past, I began to write "No, not really." But this time, as I read what my fingers had been so conditioned to type, I realized that was a lie. I did indeed have a dream, as much as it has yet to crystalize into something coherent, it existence was not in question. The knowledge of that fact alone makes me smile.
I have grown yet another day.-------
*Sincerest thanks (in no order) go to: BS, DD, CG, BL, NL, the PK boys
**Lyrics from "Give Back The Love" by The Philosopher Kings
Shaking off that winter writers block
Wow, it is indeed a sad day when I've realized I haven't written for much over a month (No Jan 2006 archives for me!), and my last pathetic post was my not so subtle attempt at holiday gift hinting. So, in order to take out my writing brain from this dust-bin head of mine, this will pretty much one of those random brainstorm posts that includes thoughts, updates, and general nonsensical banter.
To begin, I'd like to point out the fact that every head in the Animal Crackers Snak Pak I am currently enjoying has been detatched from its respected body. No I did not purposely do this myself prior to enjoying the cookie goodness of their bodies.
I guess they were just so dejected at their existence that they felt the only way out was suicide. Oh well, they're in a happier place now...or at least, I'm happier now for their sacrifice. Yum.
Side note: Now I need a glass of milk.
End of this topic.
I'd started an attempt at another opinion post a few days ago regarding what I'd like to call "American Snobbery", but my brain and I got so pissed off and sick of thinking about it I couldn't bring myself to turn into something remotely coherent. If this was a relationship, this would be the time for an open-handed slap followed by a quick backhand.
Taking the chance to reiterate: I DO NOT HATE ALL AMERICANS. While my writings seem to place all of the U.S.A. in a general pool, I am not condeming all of America. I do hate one particular American at the moment (guess who!), and probably wouldn't like the individuals that support him, but I wouldn't, say, punch some random U.S. citizen just for that fact.
The basic jist of it was the fact that I keep reading about these disgusting happenings where the U.S. would make every situation about them, shove their so called "democracy" down other peoples throats, and continue to step on whoever the hell they want while anyone who has even a remote chance to stand up to them stands idly by. (Yes, while I am still very proud of my Canadian heritage, I also view Canada as one of these sissy countries that do nothing. Hypocritical? Probably.) I'm probably going to get chucked onto one of those "no-fly" lists for this one, but sometimes you just have to admire how the "little-guys" (for lack of a better term) are willing to put it all on the line to stand up against the bully and defend their way of life.
The two articles with the most significance influence on my American B.S. reflux control:
>Tuesday January 31, 2006 - The Toronto Star - "Hitting a diplomatic wall", Tim Harper - A3
>Tuesday February 7, 2006 - The Toronto Star -
"Mexico City Sheraton sends Cubans packing", Oakland RossSome of the key points I do remember thinking of before I passed out from being so disillusioned (there were more, but I don't want to try and rememeber now):
-Anyone else notice how America practices enforced democracy? Enforced. Democracy. Uh, yeah. Not quite sure if oxymoron is the right term, but something along those lines comes to mind.
-In a sentence, the first article listed above is basically about the U.S. on the path to okaying the construction of a $1 million per mile fence along the U.S.-Mexico boarder to stop illegal immigrants and drug trafficking (if you want the full story I'll forward it on request). The idea of the fence was proposed by Tom Tancredo, a Colorado Republican congressman. The article ends with the author asking the congressman, "But what would his wall do for Canada-U.S. relations?" His reply? "Good fences make good neighbours." Make what you will of that.
-*Edit. There was a third, but I couldn't make it comprehensible, even to me.
End of this topic.
People. It's called SNOW. You've seen it every year of your existence in this great country called Canada. Does everyone have some sort of memory loss disease that makes you forget every snowfall you've ever seen and experienced? For those who are "surpirsed" every year by snow, here's a tip to help you get through this craaaaziness: Take head, remove from ass.
End of topic.
On a lighter and less cynical note: Check out these bands cuz they rock so hard!
>
Ivy>
Stars>
Muse>
Embrace>
The Black Keys>
Yellow wood>
SUNRiSEREnd Note: Oh yeah...blog facelift! Sticking with the colour green, but a new look...for now :)
Dear Santa and Co.
Dear Santa,Though I don't think I'm exactly at the top of your "nice" list this year, I think I've been relatively good. So, if you feel even slightly inclined to place something other than a lump of coal under my non-existent evergreen tree this year, here is a list of items I would be ever so gracious to unwrap on Christmas morning. They are in no particular order, except for the first one, which, in case you cannot manipulate into being, I guess I'll have to "pusuade" into being.Thanks so much Santa, and I'll try to remember to leave some rum cake and irish creme spiked hot chocolate out for you. I'll leave a scotch on the rocks too, just in case.Sincerely,connie-----
Invitations for coffee/meal dates from friends of old and new
WMS Burton Toaster Glove or equivalent
A toque...or a dozen; I tend to lose a few every year.
Blue Mountain Day Lift Ticket
Burton WMS Moto Snowboard Boots or equivalent Size 6
Etnies Cinch Skate Shoes - Size 6/6.5
Gift certificates from any of the following stores:
-Bluenotes
-West49
-Boathouse
-Indigo/Chapters
-HMV
-Jacob/Jacob Connextion
-Famous Players/Cineplex/AMC
Bath & Body Works Scented Candles
Apple PowerBook 12-inch G4
Tiffany & Co. Flower Ring - Size 7.5
Fossil Watch (1) (2) (3) (4) (5)
Canon Digital SLR Camera (1) (2) (3)
Biltmore Peluche Grand Fedora
Dobbs Dutton
-----
Addendum:
I have been extremely blessed this year, and have received invaluable amounts, some of which I sometimes feel undeserved. I am forever thankful and grateful for those who've continued to have love and unwaivering faith in me.
I will always like getting gifts, I like giving them too! Icing is always appreciated, but I'm happy and love you all no matter what.
Happy holidays everyone! Have a great one!
Tidbits
Oh the ever popular update entry. So here's just a bunch of little of recent events:
- I started a deviantArt site to put up my photo's and what-nots. My blogspot will still be my main page, but I just wanted a nice place to show off my mediocre attempt at being a photographer ;)
Check it out:
www.conjob.deviantart.com- I don't like group work.
- Never sleep at 5am if you have to get up at 8am the next morning for work, AND have your grad photo's that same day.
- Matcha lattes are so tasty, and now I get them at workie! It's not as good as BC, but it will have to suffice for now... I wonder does it taste better out West cuz it's made better there, or cuz it's made my Matcha boy?
