conjob's mental vomit

Springtime Blues

2007-04-09T16:19:00.000-04:00

You'd think that with all the times I'm complaining while at work, I'd have time to consistently update my blog. Oh well, I suck. Moving along...

I guess the term is cabin fever, or whatever else is used to describe being stuck indoors, while weather dearest decides it wants to f**k with us a bit more before it lets us bask in the glory that is pale, sun-deprived pudge, oozing out of those relatively new jeans you bought and fit perfectly in back in August...

Perhaps my mood and reactions would be lighter shade of grey, were I not constantly reminded of the fact that those whom I love and know me best (and are not male) are sorely being missed, and are very, VERY far away.

In most recent events, my discovery of a friend's February 06, 2007 blog post caused quite a bittersweet reaction. As I read the words that described a feeling that I myself could not articulate for the longest time, I couldn't help but feel a sense of happiness. That while she may be half the world away, we are still able to connect as well as when we were separated by a mere piece of drywall, in a shallow basement, with an emergency fire escape consisting of a wooden 1x5 block and a 3x5 screened window. But with that happiness came that sense of sadness I've come to tolerate, of great friends that I wasn't able to find until I decided to walk my own path, and are sincerely glad to participate in my life with me (I hope...haha).

With warm weather seems to come visits, outings, and just simple, happy times. Probably why I yearn for the sun to come out.

I miss my girlfriends...

Back from Hiatus!

2007-01-19T16:24:00.000-05:00

I'm BAAAAAAAAACK!

That's right, I've decided I can no longer hold back the venting-ness that I've done in the past on my blog, I am now back and more filled with word rage ever.

Did that make any sense?

Ok, maybe it has a little bit to do with being at work and having time between immersion meetings and reading training manuals...what can I say?

This is probably going to end up being one of those mega-novels of an update post, so just a warning to go pee and what have you first, cuz you better be giving me your undivided attention after that........ai...who am I kidding? Thanks for just reading this far!

So as some, but maybe not all, might know, I have moved back to Toronto at the beginning of this New Year to start a new job with Starbucks Coffee Canada. I have taken a permanent position with them in the Finance department as an associate for their non-retail businesses (Licensed Stores and Foodservices), so bascially now I'm back in the T-dot till whenever the wind decides to blow me somewhere else. It's exciting since this is my "growned up" job after university, but at the same time it's been quite a bittersweet experience. Having to leave Waterloo, my friends, my beloved roomie...pretty much everything that's become home for me for almost 5 years, has been anything but easy, with no help from the rushed timing of the transition. There's this odd disconnect between me and the house, where it doesn't feel so much like home and moreso just another temporary place. However, I am very lucky to have amazing and unwaivering support from those around me helping me out, to whom I can never give enough thanks.

Meh, forget the uber long post...this'll do for now. More to come so stay tuned!

Word.

Weekend of Discovery

2006-06-13T11:29:00.000-04:00

So that's how a normal weekend is supposed to feel like.

For a long while now, I'd all but forgotten how a weekend free of school, work, or Ultimate felt like. Still now I’m in a constant game of catch up, but for a full two and a half days this past weekend, I got to leave that hectic world behind me, and took a step back to breathe.

Friday evening, at Gary's persuasion and planning, the J.C.I. Ulti alumni vs. present (or as I like to call it, the old foggies vs. the youngins) game finally took place. 3 words: Lazy. Ass. D. My goodness it has been waaay too long since I've been reminded how much more energy high school kids have. Needless to say, I poached, a lot. It was great to see so many people out though, and a good feeling knowing I've been part of Jarvis Ultimate. Million thanks Gary! Keep up the amazing work!

After Ulti, dinner, and gelato (yum!), I got my much needed live music fix from controller.controller + various Paperbag Records bands. Aside from being a little lengthy due to technical difficulties, and the relative lack of enthusiasm from majority of the crowd, it was a great show! Made me want to bang on drums all day for a living hehehe :)

Lazy Saturday rolled around with the best possible start to any day, all-you-can-eat sushi! Thanks Kathy and HAPPY BIRTHDAY UNCLE SIMON! Quick visit to see baby Maya (congrats again Mike and Jess!), downtime at home, then back to the loo for a good night sleep...

...for Sunday, aka Mel and Connie day! and my first ever visit to Elora Gorge. It. Was. Marvellous. Sometimes we get so caught up in things we need to do for tomorrows that we forget to just enjoy the todays. I'd definitely needed a day outside, hiking with a good friend, and just being happy being. Thanks so much Mel for bringing me to see what beauty the Grand River area has to offer, and fo shizzle, tubing next time! Words can't do the sights justice, and neither do my photos, but if you'd like to see them, they're on my msn space.

Tis my last weekend. con signing off.

School, Life, Chaos, and the Perpetual Search for the PPF

2006-03-23T11:58:00.000-05:00

Inspired by the beautiful writings of a friend of a friend, or more correctly, a friend of a sister, I have decided yet again to make the break-the-writing-rut attempt.
----------------
Motivated by the recent chaos that has engulfed my life, I am again on the search for an outlet that may hopefully relieve the stress that has consumed my poor brain. As it continues to ride the incredible highs and lows within a short time frame, it may be all too soon before it loses its insides and begins to spill out my ears.

Perhaps it's the exaustion, perhaps it's the worry that's been instilled in me by observing the actions of students in this "generation", or perhaps it's me and my inability to turn off my thoughts, but each day doesn't pass without a moment in which I feel I am grasping blindly at straws. Here, my attempts to find some direction become desperate, and I continue to invest time, sweat, and hope into pursuits that are clearly infeasible. I am locked in a perpetual tail chase. Immobile. Unproductive. Trapped.

These moments are not without their opposites, those incredible times that add to the madness, yet are necessary to keep me sane.* I am scarcely able to remember the exact moments where the train reached the tops of the ride. I do know, however, that at those times, I have been able to smile a true smile and laugh a true laugh.

-----
"Restlessness and discontent are the first necessities of progress."
-Thomas A. Edison:
-----

While my mind is still in constant battle with itself, all of these recent events are not without their conclusions.

I am again strongly motivated to be honest about what makes me who I am. As I read through my past scripts and old postings, I realized that many times I would leave out details that, perhaps small and insignificant to some, can be enough to change an entire perception. Witholding can be just as damaging as intentional deceit, and as continually conflicted as I am, I am no longer afraid to let my flaws be known. I will never be nor expect to be perfect in any perspective. I have made mistakes and will continue to do so, and "I would never undo the past that made me."**
My belief is to leave the choice of continued interaction with me in the hands where they belong, yours.

I had also just recently received an email by my manager to complete my POM write-up for April, in which I was asked "Do you have a dream?". It had indeed been a long time since I had been presented with such a question, and, as I had answered in the past, I began to write "No, not really." But this time, as I read what my fingers had been so conditioned to type, I realized that was a lie. I did indeed have a dream, as much as it has yet to crystalize into something coherent, it existence was not in question. The knowledge of that fact alone makes me smile.

I have grown yet another day.

-------
*Sincerest thanks (in no order) go to: BS, DD, CG, BL, NL, the PK boys
**Lyrics from "Give Back The Love" by The Philosopher Kings

Shaking off that winter writers block

2006-02-09T16:07:00.000-05:00

Wow, it is indeed a sad day when I've realized I haven't written for much over a month (No Jan 2006 archives for me!), and my last pathetic post was my not so subtle attempt at holiday gift hinting. So, in order to take out my writing brain from this dust-bin head of mine, this will pretty much one of those random brainstorm posts that includes thoughts, updates, and general nonsensical banter.

To begin, I'd like to point out the fact that every head in the Animal Crackers Snak Pak I am currently enjoying has been detatched from its respected body. No I did not purposely do this myself prior to enjoying the cookie goodness of their bodies.
I guess they were just so dejected at their existence that they felt the only way out was suicide. Oh well, they're in a happier place now...or at least, I'm happier now for their sacrifice. Yum.
Side note: Now I need a glass of milk.
End of this topic.

I'd started an attempt at another opinion post a few days ago regarding what I'd like to call "American Snobbery", but my brain and I got so pissed off and sick of thinking about it I couldn't bring myself to turn into something remotely coherent. If this was a relationship, this would be the time for an open-handed slap followed by a quick backhand.
Taking the chance to reiterate: I DO NOT HATE ALL AMERICANS. While my writings seem to place all of the U.S.A. in a general pool, I am not condeming all of America. I do hate one particular American at the moment (guess who!), and probably wouldn't like the individuals that support him, but I wouldn't, say, punch some random U.S. citizen just for that fact.
The basic jist of it was the fact that I keep reading about these disgusting happenings where the U.S. would make every situation about them, shove their so called "democracy" down other peoples throats, and continue to step on whoever the hell they want while anyone who has even a remote chance to stand up to them stands idly by. (Yes, while I am still very proud of my Canadian heritage, I also view Canada as one of these sissy countries that do nothing. Hypocritical? Probably.) I'm probably going to get chucked onto one of those "no-fly" lists for this one, but sometimes you just have to admire how the "little-guys" (for lack of a better term) are willing to put it all on the line to stand up against the bully and defend their way of life.
The two articles with the most significance influence on my American B.S. reflux control:
>Tuesday January 31, 2006 - The Toronto Star - "Hitting a diplomatic wall", Tim Harper - A3
>Tuesday February 7, 2006 - The Toronto Star - "Mexico City Sheraton sends Cubans packing", Oakland Ross
Some of the key points I do remember thinking of before I passed out from being so disillusioned (there were more, but I don't want to try and rememeber now):
-Anyone else notice how America practices enforced democracy? Enforced. Democracy. Uh, yeah. Not quite sure if oxymoron is the right term, but something along those lines comes to mind.
-In a sentence, the first article listed above is basically about the U.S. on the path to okaying the construction of a $1 million per mile fence along the U.S.-Mexico boarder to stop illegal immigrants and drug trafficking (if you want the full story I'll forward it on request). The idea of the fence was proposed by Tom Tancredo, a Colorado Republican congressman. The article ends with the author asking the congressman, "But what would his wall do for Canada-U.S. relations?" His reply? "Good fences make good neighbours." Make what you will of that.
-*Edit. There was a third, but I couldn't make it comprehensible, even to me.
End of this topic.

People. It's called SNOW. You've seen it every year of your existence in this great country called Canada. Does everyone have some sort of memory loss disease that makes you forget every snowfall you've ever seen and experienced? For those who are "surpirsed" every year by snow, here's a tip to help you get through this craaaaziness: Take head, remove from ass.
End of topic.

On a lighter and less cynical note: Check out these bands cuz they rock so hard!
>Ivy
>Stars
>Muse
>Embrace
>The Black Keys
>Yellow wood
>SUNRiSER

End Note: Oh yeah...blog facelift! Sticking with the colour green, but a new look...for now :)

Dear Santa and Co.

2005-12-04T01:29:00.000-05:00

Dear Santa,

Though I don't think I'm exactly at the top of your "nice" list this year, I think I've been relatively good. So, if you feel even slightly inclined to place something other than a lump of coal under my non-existent evergreen tree this year, here is a list of items I would be ever so gracious to unwrap on Christmas morning. They are in no particular order, except for the first one, which, in case you cannot manipulate into being, I guess I'll have to "pusuade" into being.
Thanks so much Santa, and I'll try to remember to leave some rum cake and irish creme spiked hot chocolate out for you. I'll leave a scotch on the rocks too, just in case.

Sincerely,
connie

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Invitations for coffee/meal dates from friends of old and new

WMS Burton Toaster Glove or equivalent

A toque...or a dozen; I tend to lose a few every year.

Blue Mountain Day Lift Ticket

Burton WMS Moto Snowboard Boots or equivalent Size 6

Etnies Cinch Skate Shoes - Size 6/6.5

Gift certificates from any of the following stores:
-Bluenotes
-West49
-Boathouse
-Indigo/Chapters
-HMV
-Jacob/Jacob Connextion
-Famous Players/Cineplex/AMC

Bath & Body Works Scented Candles

Apple PowerBook 12-inch G4

Tiffany & Co. Flower Ring - Size 7.5

Fossil Watch (1) (2) (3) (4) (5)

Canon Digital SLR Camera (1) (2) (3)

Biltmore Peluche Grand Fedora

Dobbs Dutton

-----

Addendum:
I have been extremely blessed this year, and have received invaluable amounts, some of which I sometimes feel undeserved. I am forever thankful and grateful for those who've continued to have love and unwaivering faith in me.
I will always like getting gifts, I like giving them too! Icing is always appreciated, but I'm happy and love you all no matter what.
Happy holidays everyone! Have a great one!

Tidbits

2005-11-25T19:09:00.000-05:00

Oh the ever popular update entry. So here's just a bunch of little of recent events:

- I started a deviantArt site to put up my photo's and what-nots. My blogspot will still be my main page, but I just wanted a nice place to show off my mediocre attempt at being a photographer ;)
Check it out: www.conjob.deviantart.com

- I don't like group work.

- Never sleep at 5am if you have to get up at 8am the next morning for work, AND have your grad photo's that same day.

- Matcha lattes are so tasty, and now I get them at workie! It's not as good as BC, but it will have to suffice for now... I wonder does it taste better out West cuz it's made better there, or cuz it's made my Matcha boy?

Maybe Batman had it right all along...

2005-11-13T13:45:00.000-05:00

I came across a Toronto Star newspaper today in the computer lab at school. It was just the section A from Friday (Remeberance Day...lest we forget).
There was an article on the front page, bottom left hand corner, 3 x 6 inch space, titled "Backlash in Amman". As the title suggests, more tragedy in the Middle East.
Sad but true, I'm not afraid to admit it, it's not shocking news. I'm also not afraid to admit I normally just glance over those titles; my mind tells me it's never anything different anyway.
But, for some reason, this time I start to read the article.
It tells of a suicide bomber killing dozens at a wedding. I found this disgusting, but again, not shocking anymore. There was one part that stuck out. Quote:

"State-ordered shows of unity may be the norm in the dictator-laden Arab world. But yesterday's street demonstrations came with too many moments of genuine emotion to be written off as mere show. Though Jordan's social fault lines include divisions relating to a burgeoning Palestinian population upwards of 50 per cent of its 6.5 million citizens, not a single Palestinian flag was to be seen.---"
So where am I going with this? What does this have anything to do with Batman?

Well, if anyone has seen the previews for or the movie "Batman Begins", there is a line that seems to stick out relating to this situation. Quote:

"People need dramatic examples to shake them out of apathy."
So, this is what it takes nowadays, to shake people out of apathy, or at least, to unite a nation, if even for a day or week. For so many to die, on a day that is meant to be one of the most memorable and happy in someone's life. This is what it takes.

I can't and don't even want to imagine something like this happening to me. I can't fathom how it is possible for the bride and groom to be living this nightmare at this very moment. It scares me what human beings are capable of.

But then why am I so scared? Why am apalled at this incident?

I mean, this is what it took for me to even read the article...

Another Curious Question (v.1.1 see edit at bottom):

2005-11-02T13:53:00.000-05:00

*The following contains language and views that some may find offensive. Reader discretion is advised*
------------------------

Background:
Let’s say there’s a couple, Will and Viola (first names that came to mind, I just watched "Shakespeare in Love"…). Will is your classic, straight male, while Viola is up-front bisexual (as in REALLY swings both ways, does and has, split down the middle, doesn’t prefer one gender over the other, etc…you get the point). They’ve been together for a while, enough to establish that yes, they are exclusive, but no, they aren’t getting married, having three kids, and living in the ‘burbs with a picket fence. Get it? Ok…moving on.

Scenario:
Will and Viola go dancing/partying at clubs and what not. Both claim to be completely comfortable with the other going to dance with other people, blah blah blah, they trust each other, that whole deal.
Now…this is where I need you, the reader, to put away any kind of thoughts or ideas that you may have of this scenario, and look at it with a blank slate***.
Viola’s time that night has been split, straight 50/50, between this gentleman (lets call him Joe), and another individual, a female (lets call her Foxy). She was no closer to Joe all night than she was with Foxy. And again, all things being equal; same time allocation, same kind of dancing and moves, etc…I think you get the point.

Issue at hand:
So somewhere along the night, after dancing the night away with various people, Will notices that Viola seems to be spending a concentrated amount of time with Joe (note again it was actually 50% with Joe, 50% with Foxy, and in case you forgot already, Viola is bisexual).
*twinge*
Something pokes Will in the gut in a way he doesn’t like, and first reaction is “Joe’s a fucker.” However, there’s no real notice of the time Viola had spent with Foxy. Though Will had seen them dancing together at certain times, but because Foxy has no penis, lo and behold, no gut poke (or at least no negative one). Joe’s still a fucker and a threat, but Foxy just a sexy piece of ass and damn is she ever hot with Viola…go Foxy go!

So my question is: Why are guys so threatened by other guys when it comes to their girl, yet have absolutely no fear of losing their girl to another girl (hell, they may even promote it just to maybe increase their chance of ménage a trois…)?
Is it so inherently programmed into guys that the way it goes is GUY + GIRL, that even given that equal risk of losing the girl to both genders, only the male is seen as a threat, and the girl is good fun?

Let’s even add a twist to this: Joe is one uuuuuugly mofo, and Foxy is, well, uber foxy. And Viola had spent 70% of that night with Foxy, and only 30% with Joe. Does Foxy raise a red flag with Will? Not to be overly biased and presumptuous, but I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t. But does Joe? Probably.

Let’s even go to the extreme of the two possible situations:
1) Viola leaves Will for Joe. To Will, Joe is a biggest fucker on earth, deserves to get is ass kicked, maybe will even attempt to, etc. Ok fine, if Will is one of those understanding and mature guys, then he’ll let Viola go with dignity, but damned if he didn’t hold some contempt for Joe.
2) Viola leaves Will for Foxy. Will’s reaction: Damn.

Come to think of it at this point…even if all things weren’t equal, and Viola was more into females than males, and this is known by Will…he’d probably still be pissed at the guy if Viola left him for a guy, than at the girl if she left him for a girl.

So, after that entire novel…What’s the deal? A guy is willing to beat another guy into a bloody pulp (or get beaten into one) if he sees him moving in on his girl, but will only stand and watch with his tongue hanging out while his girl gets stolen by another girl?

--------------------------------------------
***I’m also not doing this in the reverse perspective cuz hell, I’m writing this in mine, and also plus what I’ve been exposed to historically, this is the more common occurrence.

EDIT: Please take into consideration that Foxy is also interested in women, partially or fully I don't think it matters.

Dedication to Smelanie

2005-10-28T00:44:00.000-04:00

Look at that and tell me it's not sexy...

"She smells awful but'll lick any cheeks...
Swill's her only throw but she makes a good lay...
So bloody demanding but she eats a good crotch banana."

!!!!!!!!YEAH MEL I LUV YOU!!!!!!!!

luv,
con

Navigate the Streets - Toronto 2005

2005-09-26T03:05:00.000-04:00

Team Name: The Onnies
Homebase Roster: Jason Rundell, Shawn Lee, Mark Williams
Honourable Mentions: William Lam, Raymond Wong
Results: 37th out of 44

----------

---------

Yeah, my sister and I can be pretty retarded...no we're not acting in those pics, we're actually like that in real life haha. Anyway, so this past Saturday was Navigate the Streets, and once again, the Onnies decided to rise to the challenge (aka run around the specified area of the city like headless chickens). To those who have no idea what I'm talking about, I totally recommend you check it out, www.navigatethestreets.com. It's almost always a fantastic time (say almost because there are moments where you'll want to rip your teammates a new one hahaha).

Right now I'm way to lazy to give you full details, but if you're interested, I'll tell you this story of two odd sisters that ran around downtown Toronto with the help of their crazy friends (the ones that DIDN'T go hiking! *ahem* hehe jj). Sadly this year we did worse than last year, and I now hobble down the stairs slower than a 100-year-old grannie, but it was all worth it, cuz it was hella fun :) Thanks to all the guys who helped us out as home base, the random people we called after the original roster got stuck on the clues, and of course...my trusty Canon A95 camera with uber-convenient flip screen!!! Yeah, you know it rocks! Oh yeah and of course my sister...um yeah. Hehe, I'm kidding, we totally have to do this again next year!!! I'll come back for the day just like this time if I have to, and this time we'll be better prepared and not freak out as much! Friggin' sugar pants...gaaaaah!!!

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***yeah...it's 3:35am right now...i'm not in my most coherent state...

Scottsdale, Arizona

2005-09-08T19:12:00.000-04:00

My last assignment in Scottsdale made for some gorgeous views and great picture opportunities. Just wanted to share some of them. Cheers and enjoy.
-

The view from my room onto one of the many courtyards.

The rooftop pool at the resort spa.

The (much talked about) waterfall treatment at the resort spa.

One of the many colourful sunsets I was fortunate enough to take in over the week.

...and a few minutes later.

-

2005 Canadian Ultimate Championships

2005-08-21T19:43:00.000-04:00

!!!LIQUID - 10th IN THE NATION!!!

Back Row: Sir Chad, Justin, Skywalker, Trix, Playground, Me, Dolish, Joel, Cow Boy
Middle Row: Barbie, Lori, KY, Frenchy, Yaacov, Gen Gen, C-G
Front Row: Grinder, PeeWee, Washboard

----------------------------------------

Over a thousand Ultimate players flocked to Winnipeg this past week as it hosted the 2005 Canadian Ultimate Championships (CUC). With the nation’s 55 top teams competing this year, including Waterloo’s own Liquid mixed (co-ed) team, it was the event Ultimate players across the nation had been preparing for all season.

For this year’s championship, 16 mixed teams competed for Canada’s top spot, with Waterloo’s team Liquid seeded 16th overall to start, after a 5th place finish at this year’s Ontario Regionals qualifying tournament. The team had finished 15th in the nation last year, and was definitely looking to improve. With some windy weather and a few scattered showers set for the event, Liquid set off with a hunger in their bellies and a fire in their hearts.

Liquid’s day 1 pool consisted of the teams seeded 1st, 8th and 9th (Vancouver’s Team Fisher Price, Toronto’s Bombing Madd Fatties (BMF), and Vancouver’s Chowder respectively). The Waterloo team began their climb in the standings with a close loss to Toronto’s top team, BMF, and a comfortable win over Chowder. Ranked 3rd in their pool after the first day, Liquid was set to play the teams seeded 4th, 5th and 12th (Toronto’s Bodhi, Vancouver’s Joyride, and Sherbrooke’s Gecko respectively) on day 2.

Going in 1-2 on the second day, Liquid would again prove that they were a force to be reckoned with. In their game against Joyride, who would eventually become one of the finalists in the championship game, Liquid got off to an unsteady start, and Joyride took the game to halftime leading 8-2. Not to be deterred, the Waterloo team got their heads back in the game, and roared back with a solid offence in the windy conditions, plus a stifling zone defence that was sure to have left an impression on the West coast team. Waterloo outscored Joyride in the second half by a margin of 9-7 for a final score of 15-11.

Revved up and more determined than ever to improve upon their previous year’s ranking, Liquid went into their final day of competition strong and confident. Facing off against Chowder and Gecko again, who now had a thirst for revenge, the sophomore team from Waterloo prevailed in both games then went on to play in the consolation final against Ottawa’s Lunchbox (initially seeded 6th). Though with another strong comeback late in the game, time was not on their side, and Liquid lost their final game 15-11.

Finishing their 2005 Canadian Ultimate Championships with a 4-5 record, Liquid moved up the ranks by 6 spots. Putting Waterloo on the Ultimate map, Liquid has left an impression on teams across the nation, becoming one of the top 10 mixed teams in Canada.

---------------------------
**The above is an (edited) article I wrote about Liquid at Nats, and submitted by Liquid's captain to the KW Record. Whether or not it was published I don't know, but I thought get it out there anyway.

Dedication to LIQUID

2005-07-13T11:16:00.000-04:00

The Ontario Regionals for qualification to attend the Canadian Ultimate Championships was this past weekend, a weekend filled with emotion from all ends of the spectrum.

For this years Regionals, I played with the team I toured with in the previous year, Liquid, from Waterloo. Though we placed one spot short of officially qualifying for Nationals, I have never felt more honoured, proud, and priviledged to be part of a team. They have come so far from where they were the previous season. They have more strength, skill, maturity, and Spirit I have ever seen a team develop in a single year. Even in the most extreme of situations, such as securing the final spot available to attend Nationals, their Spirit of the Game was not swayed, and I am still in awe at how incredible this team has become.

Players of Liquid, you are my heros, and I am forever thankful for the chance you gave me to part of your amazing team.

Yours truly,
-conjob.

@#^&!@^$&!%@#!!!!!!

2005-07-08T16:01:00.000-04:00

Non-writer's writer block...ugh...

My head hurts...

Pick-up City #3

2005-06-30T09:48:00.000-04:00

Well, it's more of a pick-up country...Bermuda.

**Not feeling particularly story-telly at the moment, so this will probably just be a journal (*gasp*!).

So this is sunny Bermuda! First time ever here, though I always hear about it here and there.

So...a) It was pretty last minute when the decision was made to come here, so didn't really get the chance to research the Ultimate here...and b) It's pretty tiny here too, so I wasn't looking for anything really good if it even existed. Thanks to Blue for finding some random thing about this guy that owns an apparel store in Bermuda, with a pair of shorts that had "great for Ultimate Frisbee" or something in the description. Took the long shot, emailed the dude, and he got me in touch with the Ulti guru in these here parts, and I played pickup at Elbow Beach (and once on some greenspace...it wasn't all that good though...).

Running in sand is a bitch...wholly craps. The second time was better, but the first time I might as well have just stood the entire time. Screw cutting, it was just "see how much faster than your defender you could run before you ran out of space" Ulti. Still good times though, met some new people, lots of Canadians down there which is really cool, and even a Laurier Alumni! (yeah Chris!!!!)

Anyway, thanks tons to Georgie for forwarding me to Noah, thanks Dom and Dennie for the rides to and from the beach, thanks Dennie for the awesome Pink Party shirt (hope the party went awesome!), and thanks all for some fun times at beach Ultimate :)

Notes:
>Only right now as I write this do I realize that I was the only female both times at the beach...is that weird?
>Laying out in sand, though very soft, is not recommended at all. I think I'd rather get a raspberry from grass than a face and mouthful of sand. Ewww...fish poop.
>Bermuda, fantastic beaches, but not so fantastic greenspace unless one day somehow they'll let us play Ulti on the golf courses. Oh well, my cleats have spent time on Bermudian greenspace, they're happy now.

***I totally gave up on writing this post...I started it in Bermuda, now I'm back in the office...it's blah, I know, you don't have to tell me.

Just Perfect

2005-06-20T15:06:00.000-04:00

This post is dedicated to everyone who made my birthday one of the most fantastic birthday's of my life. You guys are awesome, and I can't thank you all enough :)
I have no idea how to put it all into words, so I'm going to borrow some from Jamiroquai:

"I woke up today by the sun and a singing bird
And my ears were glazed
With these simple refreshing words
You know it feels so good to be real, yeah yeah,
You know it feels so good just feel, yeah yeah ---

Well I heard the word
Something's going down
And I feel like a bird in the sky,
in the sky You know I feel so good
Just feel this real" -"So Good To Feel Real", A Funk Odyssey (2001)

Pictures to come. Luv you all!

Unexpected Beauty

2005-06-13T21:46:00.000-04:00

the epic comeback!

2005-06-10T14:27:00.000-04:00

hahahaha I wish...

So I've just finished reading a friend's most recent blog, and freakishly true, it seems the longer I wait to write a comeback blog after my hiatus, the more I feel it needs to be extrordinary. So, after much deliberation, here it is! No...it's not extrodinary haha.

Not only haven't I blogged for a long while, I've also not written in a long while. Because of this, I have slowly been driven insane by my unrelenting thoughts, and so, will compile a blog filled with random rants and fractured thoughts...

Hmm...that's a good start...it's already so choppy...

So I read in the paper the other day that McGraw-Hill Ryerson, that big Canadian textbook company, has been considering (for quite some time) putting advertisements into their textbooks. Yes, that's right...as if we're not bombarded enough by the media already, they want to shove more crap down our throats while we try to not to fail stupid courses we never wanted to take in the first place. As if the idea of having to suffer through another boring text isn't nauseating enough, having golden arches plastered all over my books will surely push me over the edge. Oooh...I know what you had for lunch!!!

Apparently some kid from Canada who moved to Pennsylvania got arrested for "terrorism" cuz he went to school wearing an "I Am Canadian" t-shirt, and cuz he had "some, but not all" the components in his room to make a bomb. I probably have ALL the components to make a bomb just in my kitchen. Fucking Americans.**

A student who's been arrested for smuggling drugs it probably going to be sentenced to more jail time than Karla Homolka. Think about that.

Oooooh! A quarter!

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** My apologies for generalizing all Americans. I know there are the 2 or 3 of you that aren't complete stupid fuckers.

Is it worth it? and why?

2005-05-19T22:06:00.000-04:00

I'm sure most of the people that even read this already know that I'm still questioning whether or not I want to follow through with my pursuit of my Chartered Accounting designation. Everything I've done so far in terms of school and work has been towards reaching this goal, a goal I don't even know if I want to achieve.
Every person I know that has their designation has yet to give me a straight or good enough answer to the question: "Was it worth it?" I can't bring myself to justify the amount of sacrifice needed to get a CA with answers like "It'll be easier to get a job," or "You'll make more money." No amount of money or cushy office jobs will be satisfying if I'm unhappy for the better part of my life.
The saddest thing, I don't know if I'll be happier with something else, I don't know I'll be unhappy with this, and the only thing I do that makes me happy is something I'll never be paid to do.

So to the CA's out there: Was it worth it?

Nightmare Deja Vu

2005-05-16T21:48:00.000-04:00

Somehow only today did I come to realize I am exactly what I don't want to become.

I was told I wouldn't have to do this. I was told I'd know everything three months in advance. I was told I could still have a life with my job.
Forget what I was told.

I'm stuck at corporate office doing nothing. I'm stuck at corporate office rotting away playing mindless games on my computer. I'm stuck at corporate office photocopying and filing away tax returns since I'm not good enough for anything else. I'm stuck at corporate office wondering where the hell I'll be for the rest of summer while people ask me if I'll be available for things that are more important to me than grades, school, work, and money.
I tell them they'll know when I'll know. My superiors tell me to stop asking for the schedule, the one that I should've gotten three months ago.

My life revolves around my work.

Everything I hate about the life of most Torontonian business people, that "live to work" mentality, that's me now. Everything I do outside of work is planned around my job, and without a schedule for the past month and a half now, every answer I give my friends and family is "maybe", or "if I'm in town." I am what I'm striving not to become.

Don't get me wrong, the job I have now is amazing for a co-op job. It's fantastic and a great opportunity. I love the travel and the experiences, and no, I wouldn't trade it for something more stable. I just hope if this ever happens when I have a permenant job, I'll have the backbone to put my foot down.

Pigs and Politicians

2005-05-04T10:32:00.000-04:00

Ah the Metro, how you keep me update about the world’s idiocy. Let us start chronologically shall we?

Last week, there was an article that stated how the U.S. has closed the books on the search for Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq. Surprise! They weren't able to find any at all, and their initial information was so completely and utterly flawed. Whoops! Yeah, but they’re not sorry that we killed a whole bunch of people on their completely illegitimate invasion of another country, an invasion that they used as a cover to get their grubby little hands on the precious oil they need to fuel their ever growing SUV population.
Following this article, early this week there was one about the U.S. accusing North Korea of developing nuclear weapons, and how this is a threat to the U.S. because N. Korea can potentially hit U.S. territory. Can anyone say déjà vu? Just watch the whole Iraq thing repeat itself with N. Korea, and no one is going to do a damn thing about it. The world will sit and twiddle its thumbs while the U.S. silently takes over the planet and fuck it up with it’s epidemic of stupidity, ignorance, and obesity.
Okay…maybe I’m being rather presumptuous with my comments, but does anyone else besides me think that there should be some sort of consequence for actions of the U.S. in the Iraq matter? I mean sheesh, Paul Martin is getting fucked hard up the ass because of the sponsorship scandal, while Georgey over there is puffing on a cigar and chuckling to himself about how much he can get away with.

And speaking of the PM and our taxpayer dollars at work, I am now officially shocked and disgusted. I’m not surprised that the government would participate in less than legitimate actions such as the sponsorship scandal; it’s the government, what do you expect? I’m not overly irked about the millions of dollars being poured into the investigation instead of being used on more important issues like public services; the people want closure and need to see someone hung for this. And obviously, no one is shocked that Stephen Harper is taking this opportunity to de-throne the current government.
What has pushed me to the point where I had to write about this crap, was reading about how Members of Parliament are putting these bullshit politics before their responsibilities not only as government representatives, but also as Canadians. Because of Stephen Harper’s last-ditch attempt to steal the crown from the Liberals (and honestly, how much more power hungry and desperate can that guy make himself look), MP’s from both sides have abandoned their plans to attend various events celebrating the achievements of our war veterans.
Echoing one of my earliest posts, we have indeed forgotten what is really important. Perhaps not just one man, but one party’s quest for power has overshadowed the sacrifices that define who and where we are today. Without our war vets, there would be no Canada, no government, and probably no democracy. This bullshit about a non-confidence vote couldn’t wait one week? You couldn’t spare one week for the people who gave up everything so you could have your cushy jobs and perfect homes and basically your life as you know it?

Almost speechless...

2005-05-03T10:19:00.000-04:00

“NBA stars should be paid for Olympics: Allen”
http://www.metronews.ca/uploadedFiles/cator_20050503_A_Metro.pdf
Page 26, Bottom left corner.

“Seattle SuperSonics guard Ray Allen says NBA players should be paid for appearing at the Olympics.”
Uh…WHAT? Oh man, if anyone has anything to say about overpaid athletes, you have got to read this one. Who does this guy think he is? Michael Jordon? And even if he was, you still don’t say shit like this!

“ ‘I’m by no means saying I need to get paid,’ he said, ‘but some of these young players who are some of the best players in the world and why would they want to play in the summer? Most athletes, they hunger for the Olympics every four years. They spend their lives wanting to get there and that’s what they want to do. But we’re different. We’ve just finished an 82-game season and we want to chill out.’ ”
Ray Allen has officially insulted every other Olympics participant, put down every other Olympics sport, and depicted himself as your basic, overpaid, arrogant, asshole athlete…and all in one 2’x8’ article!
Uh…then what ARE you saying? And if you’re so different and want to chill, then don’t go, and don’t play. Oivey…I’m still irking over this I have no idea what else to say!!!

Photos from Vancouver

2005-04-22T22:50:00.001-04:00

So I'm finally getting around to posting these pics of Vancouver I took on my last trip there. First time around I was there in January, but without my trusty Canon A95 :D This last time, I was armed and ready! Hope you all like them. They're untouched, so any suggestions on how to make them better is much appreciated. Thanks!
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Let's start where I started...in the city core:

Visible Invisible Street Pant

Please direct your attention to the random pair of pants on top of the manhole on the bottom left. I actually took 3 different shots of the pants because they fascinated me, not just cuz they were random pants in the middle of the street, but by how much everyone tried so hard to NOT notice it...kind of like how they treat the homeless...

Hidden Oasis

Across the street from the Vancouver Art Gallery in the middle of downtown is this hidden park. From the street, you can access this park from a narrow set of stairs that seem to lead to nowhere. Since I was wandering during the day, I didn't think getting lost was a problem, so I went where the stairs took me. I completely and utterly love how Vancouver incorporates nature into it's urban centres, from its many lush rooftop gardens, to this gorgeous little gem of a park.

--
Onward to my boarding trip on a "real" mountain...Cypress:

Now THAT's a Run...

The sad thing is, this is NOTHING compared to Whistler (from what I've heard), but this is WAAAAAAAY better than Blue Mountain. Thanks Jeffrey for taking me boarding!

...and THAT'S a View!

Seeeee? MOUNTAINS. That's what you SHOULD see on a boarding trip :)

--
To the park of all parks...Stanley Park:

Untitled

I still like this pic, even though it's kind of tacky and generic, since the idea of the view has been used probably a billion times. Taken from one of Stanley Parks many Sea Walls.

Forest Home

This was an even neater surprise than getting lost the first time (not that getting lost was all that neat...anyway). I'd wandered off the trail to try and continue in one direction while attempting to exit the park after my walk (the lost thing is a whoooole other story), and this is what I stumbled upon. The tenant wasn't home at that time, so I wasn't able to tell him/her how impressed I was with this humble abode.

Grandparent

I'm sure in the park there were many trees older than this one. However, the first time I saw it, there was just a kind of aged wisdom feeling radiating from it. It also somehow just stood out from all the other trees around it (and believe me there were a lot of them).

...

Sadly, this blogger thing doesn't do this pic very much justice. This is my favourite pic out of all the ones from Stanley Park. I was really surprised how well this photo turned out when I first downloaded it from the camera. Pretty much the title says it all, in the sense that there are no words to describe this view...

Also Untitled

It's getting late and my creative cells are shutting down, so sadly, this will also remain untitled. This is probably my second favourite pic from the park. Don't think it needs an explaination. Just gorgeous.

--
And finally:

Sweet Endings

There is this awesome little shop called "Cupcakes" at 1116 Denman St. in Vancouver. This is what they have in their shop window. On the left you'll see trays and trays of decadent looking cupcakes. I never did get one to try...I don't know why...damn.

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Well, that's all for now. There's definitely more to come as I learn to handle my A95 better. Till then, keep coming back for more of my witty banter and delightfully negative opinions on society :)

Cheers!
con

Pick-up City #1.5:

2005-04-18T23:15:00.000-04:00

Yeah, picking up twice in the same city doesn't really make it another pick-up city...
So last week, I went to pickup again in Vancouver. I LOVE Vancouver Ultimate. Faboulous people, great fields, fantastically green environment. They're probably never going to read this, but thanks Gosha (I hope this is spelled right), Nigel, and Dave for being super faboo Ulti-folk.

Lessons and praise:
I need to go back to introducing myself to everyone I meet on the pitch, even if they don't give a monkeys butt.
Thanks Gosha, the medical resident who moved from Alberta and played for UofA for (I think) 3 years cept last year, for introducing herself with a huge smile. I'd sadly stopped doing that for a while, and though I blame the environment for my behaviour, I've come to realize it shouldn't matter. I do what I do, and hopefully one day I can do for someone else what Gosha has done for me :D

Kharma exists without a doubt. Snooty egotistical kids will get their schooling in due time.
Thanks Nigel, one of the "masters" with very interesting hair present at pickup.
There was a younger (probably university or even high school) player who was getting all bloaty headed due to a few skies in the endzone. Then he missed one D, gave away a point, and decided to fill the mild night air with profanity. Then, proceeded to sky once more, and I swear he was floating cuz his head was so big. Then, he got schooled, bad. Nigel makes a quick smart comment. I like Nigel.

I need to get back to my roots, my Ultimate roots.
Thanks Dave for driving me out to Yaletown to grab a cab. Though I think I would've been fine to walk to try and find one, I'm sure it was a hell of a lot safer with the ride, and it was awesome for him to even offer. That's Ultimate people for ya :D
My first Ulti tourney had me drive 7 hours with complete strangers, stay at the houses of complete strangers, and having the time of my life. Connections are great, the friends I've made are fantastic, the established Ultimate life I have is very important to me.
However, I think I need to do that again. The dive in head first and just play with complete strangers again. I need to get that feeling back.

Did I mention I LOVE Vancouver Ultimate? (Yes Mel, I completely understand now :D)

Opinion Survey

2005-04-01T10:04:00.000-05:00

I want to ask your opinion on some Ultimate questions. Please respond in the comments sections. All answers are greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance!
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For each question, please answer TRUE or FALSE, then follow your response with an explaination (if you want to of course). You can post anonymously if you wish.

1) In indoor Ultimate, given the choice of a half field pass with an 80% chance of success and a full field huck with a 5% chance of success, the latter choice should be taken most of the time, if not always.

2) In indoor Ultimate, possession is not a logical game strategy.

3) In a timed game (rather than a game to points), stopping (no matter how briefly) to explain a rule that directly affects the immediate play should never be done.

4) If a player does not know a rule, I (captain, teammate, or player on opposing team) will let them continue playing without this knowledge. It is not my place to tell/teach them.

5) Hysterics, slurs of profanity, and disc spiking of any sort is acceptable, especially from seasoned veterans, or people who are "just like that".

6) Introductions, off-field communication, encouragement and a sense of humour have no part in competitive Ultimate.

7) If you are asked (note this is THEY ask YOU, not vice versa) to sub on a team with players that don't know you, it should be expected that you will not get passed to.

8) It is stupid to make foul/travel/etc. calls on yourself.

9) If I can get away with breaking a rule, I will.

10) Spirit can never exist in competitve Ultimate.

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Please please please help me out with this. It's only 10 questions so it's pretty short. THANKS AGAIN!!!

Cheers,
connie

There's life on the streets again!

2005-03-31T18:10:00.000-05:00

Been playing around with my new (well, still relatively new) toy. Good ol' Canon A95. Waddaya think?

Yorkdale Station - Ranee Street Exit

Ulti photos to follow :D

The Non-Pick-Up City

2005-03-29T11:23:00.000-05:00

Went to Halifax. No pick up. No Ultimate. Nuts.

Confused? Unsure of your direction in life? Yeah, me too.

2005-03-10T12:19:00.000-05:00

I've been dealing with this issue on and off ever since I got rejected by every engineering program I applied to. Considering that was about 3 years ago, yes, this issue is long overdue for some serious reflection.

For some, by the time they're in high school, they know exactly what they want to be when they "grow up". Some even know in their elementary years. For others, high school helps them figure out what the want to be.
For the rest of us, even after high school, we're stuck in limbo. Yes, we may be going in some sort of direction, but is it what we really want to do for the rest of our lives? Is this it? Or is there something else? And if there is, what the hell is it?

For the last couple years of my high school career, I was pointed in the direction of Engineering as my career of choice. I was looking towards Mech Engineering. My family saw Electrical Engineering (i.e. in terms of entrance grades, getting in to EE was a little harder, meaning and EE = well respected, Mech Eng = might as well go to Rye High for your post-secondary and waste your life...no offense Rye kids).
Well, being the child I was, I applied only for Electrical Engineering programs, and some business programs for backup (I mean, since that was the expected fallback profession for us non-artsy Chinese kids). Lo and behold, life threw me a curveball, I fucked up on only one, but the most "important", class, and I got nothing.
Now, when I say nothing, I don't just mean no Eng acceptance, I mean NOTHING, NADDA, ZIP, ZEEEROOO. Nothing from the Eng schools, and nothing from the "backups". I was sitting on "alternative" acceptances (two to be exact); one, I was told by student that was in that program, was a piece of crap, the other, general arts at a school known for engineering.
Bring in the panic, stress, and the less than encouraging comments from the sidelines. Add a late acceptance for economincs at a school relatively well known for it's business programs. What you get is what you see before you. Me. Now.

So here I am, with 3.5 years towards my Bachelors of Business and Administration, with co-op status, looking to obtain a Chartered Accounting designation, and basically end up being in some sort of accounting. With the way things are going, I'll probably get a relatively good job (fingers crossed), make money, and continue to squander away that money on Ultimate and Ultimate related materials (as I have with all my co-op earnings). Doesn't sound so bad eh? Actually, I know it's not bad at all. I know I could have it worse. It could always be worse. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I CAN'T do this for the rest of my life. What I am saying, or asking actually, is "Is this really me?"

So basically this is the thing (and yes, it took me THAT LONG to get to the point), I have no idea what I want to do. I'm going in this direction right now because it's the only direction I know. It's been over 3 years and I still don't know for sure if this is what I want my career to be. Sure, I do pretty well in my courses. Sure I get good co-op jobs that relate to my field. Sure, I guess one day I could take on the role of corporate bitch. But even at this point, so far down along this path, I don't see myself doing any of that. I can't see this being my career. Even after all of the experience, learning, conversations with other people in this field, and all of the time invested in going forward in this direction, I'm constantly questioning if this is where I should be.

The last few years I've had the priviledge of meeting many people from many different backgrounds and in/pursuing many different careers. All of these people are sure of their direction, and I know this because I see the passion they've put into their work.

The people I have yet to meet are the ones that are in/have been in my position. I feel I should go out and explore my options before it's too late, but parts of me think it's already too late. I want to try other fields before I settle on one, but course restrictions, prerequisites, etc. make my choices that much more limited. I feel like I should start all over in another field, but I have no idea what field. I like bits of everything, but I don't like anything as a whole. On top of all, that I feel so lost because I have no one else to relate to in this situation.

So, I'm calling out to all my fellow confused (or was once confused) comrades. Please impart any wisdom you may have, or at least share your story. I've run out of ideas, and all this spinning is making me dizzy.

P.S. Just wanted to apologize for the weak ending to the entry. Not my best work I admit.

Trapped in a small office with a moron makes me pissed off.

2005-03-02T14:03:00.000-05:00

The workplace is all about friggin charisma. In the business world, that's all it is. If you don't have it, good luck to you cuz you're gonna have to work 10x's as hard as the charismatic idiot beside you (this is a literal description btw) to get even close to the top.

Don't get me wrong, I know to be successful in the business world, people will need some charisma. However, it shouldn't be the basis of whether or not you get to climb up the corporate ladder. And don't give me that garbage about how "it can only get you so far, but you'll still need smarts to get to the top." That amount of "smarts" can be pretty minimal if you have a convincing smile and know how to golf.

I'm not a mean person (or at least I don't think I am), and I don't have zero charisma. However, being the cynical person that I am, I'm not as charismatic as the dumbass next to me. The result of this crappy deal? He'll stroll up the ladder with smiles and handshakes while I'll have to fight for every rung.

And it's not like he's sincere when he's "being nice". One minute he's smiling and asking for help, but once your back is turned the stabbing begins. Reminds me of high school when you slag a "friend" behind their back. This is just one big show, and the stars are obviously the best actors.

Yet for some reason I stick with being a supporting actress, helping out and working hard. Why I feel the need to I have no idea. Just watch, one day my character get killed off the script without warning. Some sort of drug OD or getting hit by a truck. Come to think of it I might not get any storyline at all in the end. The nameless unknown backup character will just suddenly disappear. Guess I don't have any knowledge of the business world after all.

A warning to those who hope to be successful in a big corporation:

THIS PLACE IS A FUCKING SHARK TANK. NOT ONLY DO YOU NEED TO KNOW HOW TO SWIM, BUT YOU BETTER BE HANDY WITH A HARPOON.

*sigh*...wtf am i doing here......?

Pick-up City #2:

2005-02-28T10:13:00.000-05:00

Calgary.

I'd hoped to get 2 days of Ulti fix in Cowtown, but alas, Monday pick-up at the university was cancelled. So, again, one day of Ulti on Thursday, after some yummy dinner at my Cousin Elaine's house.

Pick-up took place at the Red Gym in the UofC Kin Complex. Relatively good size, though too many people for the one gym. Apparently more people showed up that usual that day, so playtime kinda sucked. The endzone was the size of a hotbox EZ, so that made it a little better I guess.

Things I learned:

- I am an Ultimate hippie. That's right. A hippie. Maybe not an extreme form of hippie, but one none the less.
Why do I say this? Cuz I hate it when people argue over the dumbest little things during a game, especially when it's just pickup. It might be because of a player's argumentative nature, or perhaps because they are extremely stubborn, or whatever. Still, if a million people had better perspective than you, then just take the call for what it is and let it go.
I also say this cuz I believe in Karma. Hopefully one day my actions would get some good return. I don't believe in making crap calls to win a game. I don't believe in cheating, even in the smallest forms, to win a game. I believe when a point rightfully belongs to a team, but is taken from them cuz of a stupid, cheating call, it should be given back to them.
Bad call. The other team clearly got the point. Redo. Weak defence. Enough said.
I got some lip for my actions. It didn't feel good. A feeling that was enhanced by the fact that I was surrounded by people I didn't know in a foreign place. All this leads to the next thing I learned...
- The game is changing. Or at least, from where I see it, the game is changing.
It seems my fears are becoming reality as the game becomes more mainstream. Ultimate is becoming just another competitive sport now. It still has it's quiet and humble A class players, but more and more there are players that are lippy, disrespectful, care only about the win, and trying to get away with as many calls (or lack of calls) as possible. Spirit seems to have become a thing of the past, an aspect of the game that has become secondary to winning, or even lost completely. It seems those who are new to the game know nothing about the idea of Spirit (in Ultimate terms I mean), and those who do know about it (by name only) associate it with low, "fun" level Ultimate. It seems (to me) that the principle of Spirit is no longer presented first and foremost to new players, and thus, is being lost as the sport grows with it's new popularity. Kind of the same way the idea of being humble is easily lost when ones ego is becoming inflated (personal lesson learned).
Ultimate also seems to be changing in terms of forms and methods of play. Granted, I've been on hiatus only a little while from hardcore Ultimate, but through observation lately it seems to be shifting from the graceful, flowing form it used to be, to a rough, brutish form of some sort. Again, there is still some of the former out there, but I've observed more and more lately that the basics are being forgotten, and the idea of good flow is being traded for huck-and-pray plays. There is no streamline for a disc to go, it just gets tossed into a blob of players that are in no particular form. Personally, I love seeing a good, simple play completed. Some sort of structure can be observed, there's no lingering worry that someone will blindside you, passes look like a beautiful artform. Slipping into Ultimate daydream..........
- I need to get the hell out of my gross, out-of-shape rut...but that's nothing new.

Conclusions:
I'm becoming more and more thankful of the way I was first introduced to Ultimate, and I hope those people who guided me as an Ulti newb continue to provide the same great guidance to others. Incredible "Thank You's" need to go out to Gary Wang, Dave Kessler, and of course, John Harris.
To Gary: My first ever Ultimate coach for Jarvis and Toronto EDGE, who introduced me to the sport of Ultimate, and brought Jarvis' first ever Ultimate team to OFSSA. He gave me a push in the right direction from the get-go, and it's been a fantastic ride ever since.
To John: In my mind the Ultimate guru in Toronto. Well known everywhere for his contributions to Ultimate, he stands out in my mind as the man who drove many hours out of his way to bring me to my first ever tournament. Believe it or not, that single action made me have faith in complete strangers (mind you not blind trust, but I no longer start off every introduction with a huge sense of suspicion). The empitome of Spirit in a player, he is a role model that every player should aspire to be.
To Kessler: Oh Dafe, what oh what to say about hippie dafe? My teacher, my friend, my partner in crime ;) Taught me the basics, taught me to use what I've got, one of the driving forces behind the creation of GUTS, taught me "Ultimate" culture, taught me to chill, taught me that 3 pints of beer will fit into a new discraft placed on a perfectly flat surface ;) Oh man the list goes on... Yes Ulti Dave, you are Da Man :) A lot of the Ulti cemented in my life is cuz of Dafe. I mean, who else's wedding could you get a chance to toss in the parking lot in stillettos?!

Soooo, next stop: East coast baby! Halifax.

I'm not always an angry person...I swear!

2005-02-18T09:10:00.001-05:00

I seem to be consistently angry with everything these days. Okay, not EVERYTHING, but with many of the things that have to do with the masses. Stories I read in the paper, actions of humans when they're in herds, things that keep invoking the words "DUH!" and "WTF?" in my left, right and centre brain.

{At this point, as I've said time and time again, if you don't like what I'm writing, tough shit, don't read it, or give me a reason to change my opinion.}

WTF Incident #1:
So yesterday in the Metro (and other fine newspapers available near you), there was a story on how SUV sales are still on the rise in the good ol' U.S. of A. This news coming just a couple of days after the Kyoto protocol took effect, well,
Moronic Humans: 1, Mother Nature and any chance of survival for the human race: 0.
If that wasn't enough of a kicker, further down the article, I read though words stating how because Canada is so dependant on our exports to the U.S, that we continue to churn out more and more of these nature killers every year for our loud-mouthed southern neighbours (yes, I'll admit, not all Americans are dumbasses, but you gotta admit, more than many are).
So this is my beef: I can never understand why Canada always feels like they have to play second fiddle to the States. Don't get me wrong, cuz in no way I am not saying that the U.S. is not a significant superpower, or plays no role is Canada's economy, but come on! Have we become such a nation of wimps that we can't see we have the resources to make it on our own?! Yeah, so it'll be a tough road ahead, and yeah, there's going to be rough times if we say to the States, "No, we're not gonna give you any more stuff or make shit for you so you can destroy the planet!" So? Things that are worth it take hard work! Our education and public feed us ideas of how to "Say no to drugs" or "Stand up to bullies," yet our nation as a whole has become the wimpy-ass nerd that just can't say NO.
Linking this to the SUV thing, since Canadians aren't the ones driving the them, then they're not directly to blame for the pollution, global warming, smog, and other hazards produced by these SUV's, right? Anyone with half a brain knows that that's bullshit. By continuing to produce these gas guzzling monsters, we've just signed our own death warrant. Even bar owners can be held responsible for the negative or illegal actions of their drunken customers, so just stop and think. Take responsibility! Sheesh.

WTF Incident #2:
It's more of an add-on to the hockey rant below (which, btw, is the first piece of writing that has invoked a little bit of pride in me since second year, first term), but Mark's comment on it basically said what I had to say. Saves me some venting: http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=7857861&postID=110866085457254095.

WTF Incident #3:
Oh how hockey can induce such rage.
In today's paper is an article titled, "Moore suing Bertuzzi." And so the drama continues.
So have you ever made a snowball? I don't mean the teenie tiny ones you melt with your breath into little ice balls that you pelt your sister with. I mean the huge ones, the ones you use to make snowmen, forts, the ones you crush other, smaller snowballs with. You ever notice how it just gets bigger and bigger and bigger the more you move it around?

Moore cheap shots Naslund. Bertuzzi nails Moore. Moore is seriously injured. Chaos ensues. (You start your snowball and make it bigger by rolling it in the other kids snow people can castles. These kids start bawling and running around looking for their parents to whine to.)
Bertuzzi apologizes for attack. Bertuzzi is suspended indefinitely. Crown charges Bertuzzi for assault. Bertuzzi pleads guilty. Bertuzzi still needs to apply to be re-instated to play. (The kids you've made cry have decided to gang up and kick your ass by pelting you with all the snow they can find. Somehow, the big snowball you made has survived.)
Lull. (This is the part when the snowball gets too big for you to push, and you're too tired to try.)
Moore is sueing Bertuzzi, the Canucks, the owning partnership, former Canuck GM Brain Burke, Canuck coach Marc Crawford, and teammate Brad May for "civil conspiracy, assault, battery, and negligence." (This is the part where you get the bright idea of pushing the snowball down a hill, and...)

Enough with the drama already. This isn't Passions or Days of Our Lives. Remember what we were taught as kids? Two wrongs don't make a right. I'm not Bertuzzi, don't know him personally, but at this point he's pretty much had his beat down. LET IT GO.
Don't tell me that if a player went and decked Moore's captain with a crap hit and never got a call, Moore wouldn't have done the same. Only difference is this time, Bertuzzi hit a streak of bad luck and the worst happened. Now the guy's been booed by fans, shamed, suspended, charged, and probably will still be in the shitters for a long time to come. And same goes for the franchise and it's associates. Is it such a wild idea to start focusing on picking yourself up instead of trying to shove others down?
What really gets me is the following:
(a) A perfect example of how the players are being paid too much. Too much money and don't know what to do with it. So what do you do? File a lawsuit.
(b) Professional hockey in North America is becoming the equivalent of the WWF/RAW/whatever with sticks and a puck. Soap opera on ice. The mob has won and the actual game is forgotten. But hey, it generates revenues, so what do they care?
(c) This was the best part of the article:
"Even though Moore was assualted in Vancouver, he filed the lawsuit in a Denver district court on Tuesday becuase the series of events leading to his March 2004 attack began in Denver, said a spokesperson for his lawyer."So much out of such a simple sentence...
[i] In essence, Moore has admitted that he was a moron first. He intiated these events, provoked the resulting actions.
[ii] Ha! Obviously he had to file it in Denver. The only way Moore could even get this lawsuit to fly was if he filed it in the States. (N.B: this comment is made in the assumption that the Canadian legal system has yet to go to the shitters...I hope...)
[iii] Nothing too much to do with the case, but, "a spokesperson for his lawyer"??? I know it almost the norm now...but jeez. These people have WAAAAY too much money.

I wanna throw some snowballs...

Death of an NHL Season

2005-02-17T11:58:00.001-05:00

Meditations on Being Hockey Deprived
The year had a hockey season.
IT DIED! IT DIED!
The NHL and NHLPA said they'd try.
THEY LIED! THEY LIED!
Why oh why is the hockey season dead?
Couldn't people not be greedy instead?
-----
*

{The following contains coarse language. Reader discretion is advised.}

So the season is dead. Special thanks goes to every stubborn, stupid, selfish and greedy person in the NHL and the NHLPA for making the NHL the first league ever in North American professional sports history to kill an entire season. Way to go Joe!

To be honest, I never thought they had a chance of reconciling. There was a hope, but basically the worst was expected. Oh how money makes the world go apeshit.

I have no sympathy for either side.

I DO have sympathy for my fellow hockey fans. We've just been ripped off of our hockey season, a thing we've come to love, cherish, enjoy, and pay absurd amounts of money to experience. You exist because of our adoration, not the other way around.

I also have sympathy for those who's businesses and very livelihoods have just been shot to shit. The amount these people need to survive is immaterial when compared to the amount of green all the hockey bigwigs (players and owners alike) are looking for. Way to fuck up the economy and the lives of your fans you jackasses. As much as I hate retarded lawsuits, I wonder if these people can sue for damages, since there's no way the NHL and NHLPA could not foresee the huge damage their stupidity would cause.

And, though not as much, I have sympathy for the older players who may have just lost their last season of professional hockey. These guys are your teammates. Though I don't know the stance of every older player in this situation, I'm almost sure they'd rather have played that last season than end their career on such a flat note. It'll be sad to see them go without one last moment to shine.

So yeah, Gary Bettman fucked up the league, fucked it up big time. So yeah it is pretty much the leagues fault for putting themselves is this financial shithole in the first place. So? It's a real craphole of a situation to be in yeah, but what's done is done. The point now is everyone has to fix this. So everyone quit their whining and get to work! Gotta love how everyone seems to have an opinion, but doesn't actively take a stance till the shit really hits the fan.

Gary Bettman is a moron. Agreed. But now you players have created an image of yourselves as selfish, greedy, money-hungry pricks who love the mulah more than the game. Shit, I'd never make as much money in my entire lifetime as you do in a single season, so get the fuck over it. I'm sorry you won't be able to get that extra Porche SUV this year (which btw is a really fucking ugly car and retarded idea, but I'll save that for another blog), but if you're really good, maybe Santa could spare you a lump of coal next Christmas.

Bob Goodenow blames Bettman for the loss of the season. What are we, in the fifth grade? Ya fucked up big time and now the finger pointing begins. Shall we bring your mom's into this now? I'd be delightfully surprised if this thing is even settled before the 2005-2006 season starts. And even then, it's probably going to be like rolling a square down a hill. Pretty fucking tough to get started if at all, and probably just as tough to keep it going.

I'll still love hockey no matter what. I'm still going to cheer for the Leafs if and when hockey comes back. But every person in this fucked up charade has either been cross-checked one too many times, or has inhaled way too much platinum box fumes.

-------------------------------------------------
*In case you're not a big Simpson's fan, that was a spoof off of Lisa's poem, "Meditations on Turning Eight," which is about her dead cat.

Funnest Skating Trip Ever!

2005-02-15T10:01:00.000-05:00

That's right. FUNNEST!

Weeeeeeeeeeell...I'd written an awesome and pretty length post about this yesterday, but the IE window decided to mess up and thus deleted my entire posting. Sooooooo...here is the short-er and sweet version:

This past weekend Shawn and I drove up to Ottawa to go skating on the Rideau Canal, and it was FUNTABOOLOUS! We'd planned on leaving Toronto early on the Saturday morning, but due to the incompetence of Air Canada (I'd just come back from my first travel audit in Vancouver, and they lost my luggage), we didn't end up leaving till after noon. We still got there in good time though, and first on the list: Dinner for 4 at LTV.
When it comes to Sparkler Food at Little Turkish Village, it's worth it to drive four hours just for the meal itself. And it gets even better if you're with good company...
Bronwen (reading from one of Shawn's Mad Science birthday party binders): "So then what are unhappy balls?"
Trev: "Blue ones."
Ahh...that was a good meal :) Then it was off to the Chilvers B&B in Manotick and the conclusion of Saturday.

Sunday started bright and early with a yummy breakfast of granola, fruit, yogourt, tea, coffee, toast, and a hearty omelette. Then it was off to the canal!
First, we skated the entire length of the canal towards Parliment, stopping once for some hot chocolate and Beavertails, and a little camera chat with a couple that was there with their really cute baby. When we got to the end, we headed for the National Gallery of Canada, but not before a little detour to the Ultimate Disc Shoppe :)
To the Ulti gear companies:

Make caps that fit abnormally large Chinese heads!
To the contemporary artists:

Giant and eerily life like baby heads = super creepy.

Native indian hunting bison in hot pink strappy sandals = say wha???.

By the time we were done touring the permanent collection in the gallery, there was a rumbly in the tumblies, so we went to get some grub.

Foodage was found in the Blue Cactus Bar & Grill, and while appetizers were good, the dry flavourless chicken was not. Onward from there was a quick stop at the Sassy Bead Shop, before returning for some more ice action.

We skated all the way back to Dows Lake where we parked, and by then it was time to go. So we headed towards the car and some stupid VW Golf driver induced road rage.

Taa-daa!

I feel like I should one of those "Super!" or "Great work!" stickers for this piece :)

Cities of Pick-up

2005-02-09T02:45:00.000-05:00

Pick-up Ultimate I mean...just to clarify, in case there was any confusion :p

Aaaaanyway, I've decided to log my Ultimate pick-up escapades. Hopefully through may travels this year, I will be able to go to pick-up in every city I visit (assuming there is pick-up available). And it staaaaaaaarts....now.

--------------------------------------------

"Foreign" pick-up city number 1 is: Vancouver

The number one Ultimate city in the world. Furious. Prime. Both very well known names in the Ultimate community.
No Mike Grant wasn't at Tuesday pick-up tonight, but I did get to play with one of the guys from Sumo, and a couple of ladies from Prime. One of the guys looked pretty familiar too, might have been from Furious, or a known masters team. (Yes, I don't know all the guys names and faces on Furious...oooOOooo! *shocked face*)
Anyway, I was pretty excited about getting to play Ultimate out here on the west coast. Not only cuz there seems to be this kind of awe around west coast Ultimate, but also plus it was OUTDOOR Ultimate in winter. It was hard to believe I was playing regular Ulti in the middle of winter, and it was great! I also met a familiar face when I was there too. He was wearing a Booyaka sweater so that was a dead giveaway he was from the east, and I recognized him from tourneys with GUTS. New aquaintance, perhaps a new friend? All in all it was a good experience. Too bad I could only go out once here, but ya never know, maybe another trip to Vancouver is in the works.

Things that I learned:
-I am in the worse shape I've ever been in my life and it sucks. Zero stamina. Zero flexibility. Zero strength. I hate this feeling. I hate being unhealthy. I hate knowing I let this happen to myself. I keep thinking maybe if I go to the gym every other day or something, or treadmill it, or something, I could be less ick. But even with that, it's so different from actually being outside, actually running around and playing Ulti, and I still feel sluggish. Any suggestions from the audience?
-It was pretty interesting to me how much less nervous I was just cuz there was some familiarity there at pick-up. I started touring by just jumping into unknown waters, and the excitement overwhelmed the nervousness. But now I feel more nervous than excited sometimes, and it makes me wonder where my adventurous side has gone. I know it's still there, but it seems to have gotten smaller and smaller as time goes by.
-Playing with Prime women made me realize two things. (1) Maybe I should seriously look into womens Ulti. The training, the competition, could really be something I could get into. But then comes my age old problem of getting along with people, specifically a large number of females. (2) Prime women are human too. I know they weren't trying their hardest, and they still had lots up their sleeve, but still, to have played with them on the same pitch made me think, "It possible that I could do that too." Obviously I'm no where near their level, and I may never be, but the possibility is really there. They can fly...but it's possible for me to fly too.
-I miss Ulti soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo very much. It was such an amazing feeling to be playing again. I was having such a crappy day too, but once I was out running and chasing plastic, it was all better. Makes me wonder how I'm going to get through this summer without being on a team and touring. I knew there were sacrifices when it came to taking this job, but man! *sigh*

Next stop, Calgary. Anyone know if there's pick-up there in the winter?

i'm a hypocrite...

2005-02-08T20:47:00.000-05:00

i preach about making yourself heard, yet i don't speak up
i preach about going out and trying new things, yet i stick to what i know
i preach about not letting anything stop you from doing what you love, yet i let fear and uncertainty stop me from finding that love...

and to your left...

2005-01-27T15:53:00.000-05:00

is a post and a topic i want to keep a close link to. So, just to keep it "on top" so to speak and not let it disappear cuz i posted a survey, please do go see
http://conjob.blogspot.com/2005/01/democracy-or-just-another-form-of.html
It is a good read, and I'd love to get more opinions on the post and the proceeding comments :D

cheers!

I can blog at work...so I do...haha

2005-01-27T11:17:00.000-05:00

This was kinda neat...stole it off Nevin's blog (http://nevin.blogspot.com)

Three names you go by.
1. Connie
2. conjob
3. smurf (or shrimp, or midget, or anything pertaining to being short...)

Three screen names you have had.
1. conjob
2. BabyKami
3. BabyChris

Three things you like about yourself.
1. brutal honesty
2. opinionated
3. occasionally intuitive

Three things you don't like about yourself.
1. laziness
2. lack of motivation and direction
3. judgemental

Three parts of your heritage.
1. canadian
2. chinese
3. milkman*

Three things that scare you.
1. becoming fat
2. being dependant
3. not getting to experience life

Three of your everyday essentials.
1. food
2. sleep
3. tuneage

Three things you are wearing right now.
1. hemp bracelet
2. ring
3. contact lenses

Three of your favourite bands or artists at the moment.
1. letters to cleo
2. john mayer
3. dido

Three of your favourite songs at present.
1. john mayer - comfortable
2. semisonic - FNT
3. eric clapton - classical gas

Three new things you want to try in the next twelve months.
1. le parkour
2. bungeejumping
3. getting tattooed

Three things you want in a relationship, other than love.
1. honesty
2. comfort
3. great sex

Two truths and a lie.
1. i can bench press 90 lbs
2. i've kissed a girl
3. i occasionally like nutella spread on burgers

Three physical traits that appeal to you in a potential mate.
1. tone, fit body
2. pretty face
3. relatively well groomed

Three things you just can't do.
1. be prissy
2. give up meat (haha good one nevin)
3. not speak my mind

Three of your favourite hobbies.
1. play ultimate (not really a hobby...just takes up lots of "hobby" time)
2. read blogs (yeah yeah...what a loser eh?)
3. read

Three things you want to do really badly right now.
1. play ultimate
2. not work
3. watch a movie

Three careers you're considering.
1. CA
2. professional ultimate player
3. law???

Three places you want to go on vacation.
1. france
2. amsterdam
3. hawaii

Three kids' names.
1. alexander
2. natalie
3. madison

Three things you want to do before you die.
1. backpack through europe
2. play at a worlds ultimate tourney
3. fly

Three people who have to do this meme. (<--this "meme???" what does that mean?!)
1. thuong?
2. jay run-into-fence rundell?
3. bonnie?

Democracy? Or just another form of oppression?

2005-01-25T15:23:00.000-05:00

CAUTION: Controversy ahead. Reader discretion is advised.
----------------------------------------------------------------

Okay, so I know this idea has obviously been brought up before, but still, I feel the need to write about it. And who knows, maybe you'll enjoy reading about it...

So the past couple of days I've been reading a friend's blog. (www.xanga.com/masterstorm) His last couple postings on religion were pretty controversial too (and if you read the comments, I also wrote some stuff there), and one of those postings brough up Mr. George Dubya. In case you're too lazy to go look for my comment there (though the entire posting is actually a good read), part of it goes as follows:

"Quoting from it (the posting) "At one point in the article I read "Offering one prayer, the Rev. Billy Graham said he believed God had a hand in Bush's re-election." --- A bit further down in the article, I read this "whom Bush credits with inspiring him to reaffirm his faith and give up drinking at age 40". Now I'm in utter shock. The person who is controlling the strongest superpower in the world requires inspiration from religion and his "faith" to do something drastic such as stop drinking.""
This freaks me out even more than having to wear a dress (and those who know me, know that I am so not a fan of dresses). My personal stance is that though I do believe that there is probably some "higher power" out there, but I don't believe there is a God. Nor do I believe in religion. This is not to say I have anything against people who do believe in God or whatever religion they so choose to practice, but history has shown us that religion itself causes more damage than it does good. (see http://www.religioustolerance.org/curr_war.htm for an idea of what I mean) A great quote to communicate this idea: "How many crusades were fought in the name of God? How many people died because of someone's religion?" The fact that now the most powerful man on the planet is looking so much to his faith to guide him on how he lives his life, and much of that being how to run the "strongest superpower in the world", leads me to think back to those good ol' history classes, and a man named Hitler."
I won't talk about my views on religion here (unless someone asks), but okay...so far, to me, Bush is kind of the equivalent of a modern day Hitler (yes I know I'm not the first to come to this conclusion).

This morning in the Metro (free Toronto newspaper for those who don't know), there was an article titled "Chancellor urges viglance against neo-Nazi threat". From it I quote:

""But, above all, Nazi ideology was wanted and made by people," Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder said."
The thoughts provoked by my friends blog and this article got me to thinking. Okay, so oppression, tyranny, lack of democracy = bad. Right? But then when the developed, or so called "civilized", countries invade other countries they deem oppressive, in order to make them convert (for lack of a better word), then what is that? Don't get me wrong, I am very appreciative of my freedoms as a Canadian citizen, and I can't even imagine how terrible it would be seen as subhuman as some women are in foreign countries. However, when I read the line "Nazi ideology was wanted and made by people," well, so is the Western (again for lack of a better word) ideology of democracy and freedom. When developed powerhouse countries invade other countries in order to "liberate" them, aren't they also oppressing the ideas of the citizens (albeit not every citizen) of the invaded country? They flood the media with these ideas of "freedom" and "liberation from tyranny", yet they themselves are doing what tyrants do. And the citizens (again albeit not every citizen) of these developed invading countries who believe in our kind of "freedom" support these actions, because the ideology behind these invasions are "wanted and made by people." (Again, this is so not a new idea...)

So what happens when every country deemed oppressive or threatning is "liberated"? When all those people who believe in a different faith other than those of the "democratic" countries are suppressed, silenced, or killed? When there is no longer a voice for faiths that we do not understand, what happens then? Is everyone free?

Le Parkour

2005-01-24T10:52:00.000-05:00

My wonderfully crazy boyfriend has yet again introduced me to something crazily fun.

Welcome to the wonderful world of Le Parkour. Viewed by enthusiasts as a lifestyle, viewers as an extreme sport, and by the ignorant, "just jumping around".

I haven't really started doing this yet, so check out www.pkto.com if you're interested in Parkour in Toronto.

*

As I do with my Ultimate endevours, I will post my adventures here. Starting with this one:

Last Friday at work, there were only 3 people in the office including myself, since everyone else was either at a property or had an appointment. Long story short, cuz I don't feel like writing all the details...I was bored completely out of my mind, so I decided to read up on the fundamentals of Parkour. This lead to me practicing my landing...by jumping off of my officemates desk. Note to self...work pants are too expensive and so not stretchy enough to do Parkour in.

Cheers y'all and enjoy.

*image taken from pkto.com...I think it's by the member wolfbeta (so obviously credit goes to him). I'll take it off if I'm told I'm not allowed to use it.

Humans should be re-taught how to walk.

2005-01-21T09:21:00.000-05:00

Yes, that's right. Just like how we were taught to walk when we were babies, as adults, we need another lesson (or lessons for some) how to alternate left foot forward, right foot forward.

Let's put this into context. I work downtown. I've had a few jobs where I've had to travel downtown during "rush hour" to get to work. There are lots of people on the streets and in the subway at those times. All the busy little worker bees buzzing around trying to get to their jail of a cubicle before the clock strikes 9.

So what does that have to do with walking? Everything.

For the past week I have been push, shoved, stepped on, shoulder checked, shoulder checked in the head, and made late. And these are NOT isolated occurances. Two points I want to get to from all this.

(A) People. Unless you are severly injured, disabled, elderly, dependant on walking aids, recovering from hip surgery, or very hung over, you should not be shoving your way towards an escalator to leave the subway platform. You know those things that are right beside the escalator that also lead upwards? They're called STAIRS. They too lead you off the platform. And quite a bit faster than the escalator if you're in a rush to get back to jail *ahem* I mean work.
Also, if you must insist on using the escalator, don't push people to get into line for it, and don't block off the path to the stairway while you're at it! Picture this if you will. A 2 foot wide escalator being crammed with people, and more people are shoving to get on it. And a 7 foot wide stairway right next to the escalator with steady flowing traffic and minimal contact between bodies (cuz god forbid you might touch someone***). I for one would choose the stairs (obviously), so I am being "nice" so to speak (and for lack of a better word) by lessening the demand for the escalator; one less body to shove out of the way. You're welcome. So why is my action being punished by having the herd of escalator cattle block my way to the stairs for a full 5 minutes? I want to use the one thing the horde doesn't, but once the horde see's that, they want to make sure it's the escalator or nothing?!
And lastly, the constant reminder and appeal to your health. Get off your fat ass and walk. It's two flights! It's not going to kill you! Talk about an obesity epidemic. People won't even walk up the stairs if they don't move by themselves. I'm surprised none of these lazy ass so called "educated" people haven't moved to the suburbs, built a one story house where there are no stairs, and installed moving sidewalks so any leg movment is minimal. Shall I chew your food for you as well sir?

*ahem*. *regains composure*

Okay, so onto the second point.

(B) Learn to walk. Learn to walk well. Learn to walk a straight line please.
We are not ducks. We are not penguins. Unless you've got the biggest ass in the world (which should be your motivation to start walking in the first place!) and have zero sense of balance, you should not waddle when you walk. (Note: this comment does not pertain to toddlers, those with a balance disorder, those who are injured and must limp, the disabled, elderly, etc. and those who are heavily intoxicated.)
Honestly, I don't mind the light pushing, the regular occurances of bumping, and the occasional accidental shove or body check. I've accepted that as things that will happen when large herds of cattle are migrating into one area. I do however, mind being shoulder checked in the head by large ignorant morons who need a 3 feet span of empty space in order not to injure or kill something when they walk. Concussion isn't the right word, but it's the first one that comes to mind.****
Why are you swaying? Are there that many of you that are drunk at 8:30 in the morning? Even gorillas don't need that much space to walk! It's not that amazing of a feat to try and walk in a straight line. Or at least be conscious of and courteous to those around you. A little effort isn't going to kill you, but then again...see point (A).

So in conclusion, left foot forward, then right. Not all stairs move by themselves. It's okay. You'll still get there. Try moving those two lower limbs of yours, better known as LEGS. Try to control your upper body while moving your legs. I know it's hard, with all the focus it already takes to keep those legs going, but I know you can do it. I have faith in human kind.

Oh wait. No I don't. Haha.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

***My apologies in advance to those who are religious. I am not using "his" name in any negative context. It is to make an exclaimation...or something...I think...

****Those who've read "Choke" by Chuck Palahniuk will recognize this phrase. Yes, I am borrowing his idea. Please let me know if I have infringed on any copywrites and I shall remove said phrase. Great writer. I can only hope to have a tiny fraction of his talent.

"Choke" by Chuck Palahniuk

2005-01-10T23:02:00.000-05:00

Also the author of "Fight Club". Shawn recommended it. Great book. Not in the "Gripping!" "Suspenseful!" "Edge of your seat!" great kind of way.
In the it sticks with you when you're done kind of way.
In the "whoa..." when you close the book after you've finished kind of way.

Some quotes I liked from it:

"The laws that keep us safe, these same laws condemn us to boredom.
Without access to true chaos, we'll never have true peace."
-Pg 159

"This is our whole culture of bigger, better, stronger, faster. The key word is progress.
In America, if your addiction isn't always new and improved, you're a failure."
-Pg 203

"Or maybe when people are treated like cattle, that's how they act. Or maybe that's just an excuse. Maybe they're just bored. It could be that nobody's made to sit all day in a cramped packing crate full of other people without moving a muscle."
-Pg 257

"She said, "Because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it.""
-Pg 285

"Beth sits on a rock, looking at a busted statue that Denny made of her. Not how she looked for real, but how she looked to him. As beautiful as he thinks. Perfect."
-Pg 291

"We can spend our lives letting the world tell us who we are. Sane or insane. Saints or sex addicts. Heros or victims. Letting history tell us how good or bad we are.
Letting our past decide our future.
Or we can decide for ourselves.
And maybe it's our job to invent something better."
-Pg 292

whoa...

How fitting...

2005-01-03T01:41:00.000-05:00

"midnight
lock all the doors
and turn out the lights
feels like
the end of the world
this Sunday night

there's not a sound
outside the snow's coming down
and somehow I can't seem to find
the quiet inside my mind

3:02
the space in this room
has turned on me
and all my fears
have cornered me here
me and my TV screen

the volume's down
blue lights are dancing around
and still I can't seem to find
the quiet inside my mind

daylight is climbing the walls
cars start and feet walk the halls
the world awakes
and now i am safe
at least by the light of day
at least by the light of day..."

- Quiet by John Mayer

My Sister Rocks!!!

2004-12-25T19:14:00.000-05:00

My sis is the only one I know that still keeps an agenda every year, and glues and draws and writes stuff in it to make it look super awesome. I only took the time to look in this years today, and found something that totally made my day so much better. Amongst the all the sayings and pictures was a picture of me, and on it written:
"she takes my hand and leads me along paths i would have never dared to explore alone..."

I guess fate has its reasons for my paths and trips...this being to remind of the bright lights in my life on this trip where I've revisted my darkness.

Thanks Bon!

Some Holiday Cheer

2004-12-25T18:29:00.000-05:00

This was starting to get glum. Here are some fortunes from some cookies my sister, cousins and I got this afternoon at lunch:

Bonnie's: "You are always welcome in a gathering..." (hint hint Mark *wink*)
Cousin James': "You will do well to expand your business..." (totally goes with the new bling in his ear)
Cousin Don's: "A modest man never talks to himself..." (don't wanna know...)
Mine: "The time is right to make new friends..." (uh oh! hehehehe)

I'm sure most of you know the fortune cookie thing, and if you don't, do ask...it's what makes these so fun :)

Long time, same issue

2004-12-25T02:00:00.000-05:00

My bitterness and coldness seems to be getting me in trouble lately. I could explain it, but I doubt I would be understood.
The plans and hopes and ideas have been thrown into disarray as well, with an issue that I had yet to take into consideration, but will now haunt me till resolved.
If I am cold I could be free. If I am human I will be trapped.
The forward skies have turned back a darker shade of grey...

Daughter's Duty

2004-11-25T23:53:00.000-05:00

"What is my duty? My responsibility? My Obligation?
When is it too late for reconcilliation? But what is there to reconcile?
A stranger in my life, bound by blood. The only clear memory, of pain, sadness, distrust.
A symbol of your presence, soaks up a silly girl's dream. The only place the two of you are together with no lies.
Chances should be given, but desire is no longer there.
Will I regret?"

4am is ringing in my head...

Random Writing

2004-11-24T11:43:00.000-05:00

I really don't know why I write or post these things... I mean, I enjoy writing, but it again falls under the "mediocre at everything" category...
Oh well...just some thoughts that turned into a piece.

"We capture our thoughts by taining paper. Each stroke of the pen contrasting the pureness of its face. In some way, the chaotic marks are understood, but only by others who tarnish the paper's glow.
It's almost as if our thoughts are what are dark; disturbers of the calm, smooth whitness of our tablet. We create chaos in order to be heard, to attempt to be understood.
What odd creatures we are..."

interesting survey courtesy of thuong :)

2004-11-18T01:24:00.000-05:00

i got your package today Thuong!! YOU'RE AWESOME AND THE BEST!! THANKS SOOO MUCH!! was the highlight of my day~!

TEN Random Things About Me
10. i play ultimate frisbee
09. i'm the only asian RIC at laurier intramurals
08. i'm a hazard in the kitchen, but can make some pretty awesome sushi (only thing i can make aside from jello!)
07. i don't like dresses or skirts cuz i feel naked wearing them...
06. i hope to get laser eye surgery one day in the near future cuz i hate being so close to blind
05. i'm not allergic to ANYTHING! (i don't think)
04. i love anime...my favourite movie ones are escaflowne, laputa, spirited away, appleseed
03. i have a panda teddy that i've had since i was 2...and hasn't been washed since then either
02. i got my mom's sewing genes, my sister got the cooking ones...
01. i have a computer that hates me and is on perpetual pms

NINE Places I've Visited
09. Orlando, Florida, USA
08. Banff, Alberta, CANADA
07. Montreal, Quebec, CANADA
06. Punta Cana, DOMINICAN REPUBLIC
05. Vancouver, British Columbia, CANADA
04. Edmonton, Alberta, CANADA
03. Detriot, Michigan, USA
02. Seattle, USA
01. Ottawa, Guelph, Hamilton, Sudbury, North Bay, London, and all the other ulti tourney cities, Ontario, CANADA
(YES!! this list is only going to get longer with my new job!)

EIGHT Things I Want To Do Before I Die
08. backpack through europe
07. go on my "around the world" trip
06. get a tattoo
05. own and ride a motorcycle
04. go scubadiving
03. bungeejump and skydive and hangglide
02. visit my grandma's home in china
01. perform the ultimate play "the greatest"
(this shoulda been the "TEN THINGS" one...soo much more i wanna do!!!)

SEVEN Ways To Win My Heart
07. make me laugh
06. be honest
05. cook me meals
04. call me out of the blue just to say "hi"
03. play as much ultimate as i do
02. challenge me
01. randomly surprise me every so often (surprise in a good way!)

SIX Things I Believe In
06. karma
05. one must learn to be happy alone before they can be happy with someone else
04. laughter is really contagious
03. a life without love is no life at all
02. there really are good humans out there
01. friends and family are definitely the most important people ever in your life

FIVE Things I'm Afraid Of
05. being fat
04. going blind
03. being paralyzed/disabled
02. losing everyone i care about
01. disappointing the ones i love

FOUR Of My Favorite Items In My Bedroom
04. my teddy
03. my posters
02. my guitar
01. my discs

THREE Things I Do Every Day
03. chat on msn (sad i know)
02. eat
01. think?

TWO Things I'm Trying To Not Do Right Now
02. stress
01. stay mad

ONE Person I Want To See Right Now
01. shawn

Do We Really Remember?

2004-11-06T22:55:00.000-05:00

Rememberance Day is coming up again. On November 11th, at 11:00am, I will offer my minute of silence and remember those who gave up their lives so that we could live the way we do.

To live the way we do...the way we take our freedom for granted, the way we carelessly disregard the fragility of mother nature, the way couldn't care less about the terrible happenings all around the world as long as it's not happening on our front doorstep. Is this what those brave soldiers fought for? Is this what they died for? Was this their will that they'd hoped would be remembered?

It was interesting how the American election fell so close to Rememberance Day. I hadn't even thought much about it until I read Tiff's blog "revelation?" (http://tifftsun.blogspot.com). I didn't want to think or discuss the election. I thought it was ridiculous how "epic" an event it was made out to be. And then I realized how sad it was that it was indeed epic, because the outcome of the election would define how the world will be for the decades that follow (assuming we'll still be around that long).

I have been very passive in regards to the happenings around the world. I think part of it is because I don't believe my voice can help, part of it is because I live in a bubble where school takes up my life and I don't find the time to find out what's happening in the real world, and part of it, sadly, because the ignorant part of me does really think, "Well, it's happening over there, and I'm over here, in Canada. No one's gonna come attack us...". And then, perhaps, I have remained passive because a) I still don't believe my voice will be heard, and b) because the issues never really struck a chord with me; it was just preaching about how the human race will end up destroying themselves...whoop-dee-doo. It's like that one part in the song "Blue" by Chantal Kreviazuk, "The paper doesn't cause too much of a fuss. Perhaps, it's because, it's not, it's not sad enough..."

Then Tiff's blog really made me think, and it also made me very scared. It wasn't because of the part that mentioned how we might lose all of the natural resources we need, or the part that we might be "coaxed" into participating in that ridiculous missle defence program, or even the part where we may become so dependent on America that we might as well be taken over that finally made me scared enough to think.

It was the thought that one day I would like to have my own family, my own kids.

I had always wondered how the world will be when I'm "older", when I was ready to start a family, when I was "all grown up". I would wonder what kind of technology, innovations, improvments would exist in that time, all the time with no worries that a simple existance could be questionable. Now, as I move closer and closer to this time, I wonder if I will even be around, if anyone will be around, if I will have that chance to experience parenthood, and if I will be able to protect my children from the horrors that seems now will be an inevitable experience.

It scares me that there is a chance I won't be able to tell them about my past, about my life, about the important people in my life who never gave up on me, about the amazing things those people did for me to get me to where I am; basically pass on all of the fabulous things that were given to me in life. It makes me question why my uncle works so hard to help take care of my family and I, why my friends keep finding the strength to continue encouraging me in everything I do, why all the great people in the world keep pouring their efforts into each other, just to have all of their efforts wiped away by a few stupid, ignorant, foolhardy individuals that can't seem to see anything past the tips of their noses.

I want to know that the efforts of these amazing people are not going to waste. I want to know that their stories have a place to be passed onto. I want to know that all the great things they have done and all of their sacrifices were not in vain.

I used to think their stories would live forever. I used to think that one way or another, their positive efforts will be passed on and translated through future generations.

I used to think, that we really remembered.

Boy, was I wrong...

Appleseed

2004-10-31T17:30:00.000-05:00

http://www.a-seed.jp/en.html

The trailers do this movie absolutely ZERO justice. Shawn and I went to the screening held by WFAC on Wednesday. It. Was. AWESOME. If you ever get a chance to see it, DO IT! You definitely won't regret it.

WFAC

2004-10-25T01:10:00.000-04:00

I've been trying really hard to resist putting up a new blog; I don't want to overshadow the CUUC one cuz I'm actually kind of proud of it.

I couldn't resist, so here it is!

I was walking to meet a friend this weekend, and found out the Waterloo Festival of Animated Cinema (WFAC) was happening starting Wednesday of this coming week. I got totally stoked cuz I went to the 2002 WFAC, and it was a fantastic experience! I was so incredibly bummed that I didn't make the 2003 one, cuz two of my favourite anime movies, Escaflowne and Laputa, were on list of screenings. (We shall end that comment there or I could go on and on about how much I love those two movies and how much I wanted to cry that I missed them on the big screen.)
Sadly, this year I will only be going to one screening due to mid-terms (stupid school ruins EVERYTHING!), but I wanted to promote the festival to everyone because it's just awesome! It's great for enthusiasts, just as an experience, or for people who just want to check out animated cinema for the first time.
This is the first year the focus has moved from just anime to a broader sense of global animated cinema, by including movies from Russia and Zimbabwe. It still feature anime selections though; two that look really awesome to me are Appleseed and Steamboy.

Please, please, PLEASE! go check it out:

www.wfac.ca

An anime enthusiast...signing off.

UW Womens: 2004 CUUC Finalists

2004-10-22T23:11:00.000-04:00

Top row: Paulina, Niki, Sonia, Val, Dar, Jess
Middle row: Jen, Jayanti, Con, Rie, Cyn, Meg
Bottom: Oni

The Canadian University Ultimate Championships

2004-10-19T23:34:00.000-04:00

This past weekend was one of the greatest of my life.

The weekend began on a grey Friday morning with a trip to Hamilton and the start of the Canadian University Ultimate Championships. There wasn't anything new that Friday morning, nothing different, no expectations, no giddy excitement. I was at an Ultimate tournament, pure and simple. I was given the opportunity to play the sport I love, for the next three days, on a team of very talented players, against the top university womens teams in the country.
As a Laurier student, I was allowed to be one of the three allowed exceptions on the University of Waterloo Womens team, since WLU had no team of its own. I can't remember what we were originally seeded going into the tournament, but it was lower than we knew how we could do. And as every team does, we looked to improve our seeding over the course of the weekend.

"What do we drink? WATER! Who's your daddy? LOO!"
"WATER! WATER! WATER! LOO! LOO! LOO! WATER! LOO! WATER! LOO! HUH!!"

Friday the 15th brought about heavy rains all day, which would eventually cause the cancellations of all last games. Our first opponents were the University of Ottawa. We came out victorious, winning 15-1. Our second game was against the University of Guelph, whom we'd lost to previously at University Easterns (regionals). The heavy rains and winds proved to be an equalizer, and we showed what we could really do in adverse weather conditions, beating UofG 13-1. The third scheduled game against the University of Western Ontario was moved to Saturday morning.

Saturday the 16th began bright and early at 8:30am in order to make up time lost the day before. Western had not had a good showing at Easterns, but were performing very well at Nationals, also beating Guelph the previous day. Knowing they would not be the same team we had played before, but still confident in our skills, we went to the game with high intensity, and came out with a 13-4 victory. Next, it was onward to our toughest round-robin game yet. This time we came out on the bottom, with a 5-9 loss to University of Alberta, a favourite to win the tournament. Our last two games of the day were against both teams from McMaster, MacB first, then MacA. Although a 13-4 win was aquired, there was some loss of intensity against MacB. Noting this, we brought the fire back against MacA, defeating them 13-0 to end the day, and to aquire a spot in the top 4 with UofA, the University of Queens, and McGill University.

Sunday October 17th was a day of strong winds, strong competition, and strong wills.
We were to play against McGill in the semifinals first thing in the morning. The final was favoured to be UofA versus McGill, so much so that we had even been told (jokingly of course) to "tire out McGill" for UofA. With no expectations and reservations, we went out onto the field, already proud of our accomplishments. We immediately sunk into a 1-4 deficit, but a timeout was called, and we quickly regrouped. It was all uphill after that, shutting the McGill offense down with our stiffling wedge and cup zone. McGill would not be able to recover, and did not score a single point after that. We went on to beat McGill 7-5 in timecap, and secured ourselves the spot in the final against UofA.

CUUC 2004 Women's Final: The University of Alberta versus the University of Waterloo.
UofA: undefeated, history of winning university nationals, heavily favoured to win again
UofW: one loss (to UofA), placed 5th the previous year, underdog of the century
We would prove that we deserved to be in the finals. We would prove that Waterloo Ultimate has a place in high-end Ultimate. We would prove no matter the end result, we knew we'd already won.
Right from the beginning, it was predicted that UofA would walk all over us, an easy win as one would put it. With some great motivation from our captains, and the adrenaline still pumping through our veins from our previous win, we stormed onto the pitch with a desire to give UofA a run for their money.
And give them a run for their money we did. Our strong performance off the get-go may even have caught the UofA team off guard, which may explain when we (very surprisingly) took the lead for a few points. We showed them how tough our defence could be, and how patient our offence was. However, UofA recovered after a timeout, and would re-established a lead. Points were traded for a time afterwards, incredible D and O were played, layout bids were almost always made for discs that looked to be lost, all towards the ultimate goal to be CUUC champions. The game would eventually end in timecap, with UW losing by one point to UofA. (We'd actually stormed the field after scoring the final goal, causing some confusion to those watching from a distance as to the winner.)

It still takes me a while to realize that we were finalists at the 2004 CUUC's, and that we are the second best team in all of Canada. I am so incredibly grateful to have been able to be a part of such a fantastic experience, and the memory of it still makes me smile.
Thanks to all of our wonderful spectators for watching either some or all of our games and cheering us on! To Chris and his bro, the UW boys, and lil Eric (from QueensA, the Open division champions). A special thanks to each and every lady on the team for making my first ever University Ultimate experience one of the most memorable times of my life. Major kudos to captain Oni for making all of this possible, co-captain Val for all her organizing and her amazing positive energy on and off the pitch, co-captain Sonia (and YAY! fellow WLU'er) for her leadership and guidance and her "mommy-ing", Cyn who may be small and thugish but is HUGE (especially on D) when on the pitch, Rie for her ever amazing skies and her ability to somehow always be totally open in the endzone, Niki for her amazing cuts and mid play and her unnerving ability to soak everything that is Ultimate up like a sponge (she's gonna be a superstar in no time I tell ya!), Dar for also some amazing mid playing and making some grabs I never thought were possible, Meg for toughing out injuries to still play some for the tourney and doing a damn good job at mid and upfield handler, Jen for some stellar grabs and also toughing through injury to stay on the pitch, Paulina for some super hot D and mid/upfield work and one super-fabulous upfield flick I still remember to this day, Jess for being huge and awesome on O (and for joining us after a broken nose injury!), and last but not least, Jayanti who came all the way from Calgary to join us with some awesome handling/mid and some of the most incredible grabs I've ever seen (Niki was right to call you velcro girl!).
Millions of *HUGS* to all of you, and luv you all!!!

"Wiggle it, just a little bit, uh uh. Wiggle it, just a little bit, uh uh. Wiggle it, just a little bit, uh uh. Wiggle it, just a little bit, uh uh! WIGGLE IT, JUST A LITTLE BIT UH UH!!!"

Read any good books lately?

2004-10-13T13:04:00.000-04:00

I was recently going through my old computer files trying to "clean up", and I came across an old notepad file of book titles I'd like to read, own or recommend. Thought I'd share some of the amazing titles I've had the pleasure of reading:

War of the Rats by David L. Robbins
-> This has got to be one of my favourite books of all time. An awesome suspensful read, with tons of detail. You get into the book from page one, and you just want to keep reading till you're done. It'll definitely make an impression on you. The movie, though still a good one, totally did NOT do this book justice.

The Painted Bird by Jerzy Kosinski
-> I'm still trying to find a nice copy of this book to buy. Again, another book that makes a HUGE impression. Word of caution though, some of the contents are VERY disturbing, so if you can't handle that kind of thing, do stear clear. It is still an amazing book though, very well written. If you're going to read a book that will get your mind going, this is it.

Redwork by Michael Bedard
-> Awesomely creative book. It encorporates so many different ideas and genres all into one, and it all fits together perfectly. It plays on the mystical and supernatural, and also factors in human emotion and drama. It's suspenseful and invokes curiousity, all the while it doesn't become too "out there" that you stop believing it could happen in real life. The first time I read this book was actually in grade 3, but I had forgotten the title and author. The story just stuck with me, and in first year U it was bugging me so much I went on a mission to find it. (N.B: I never did find it myself, but my bf at the time was awesome enough to.)

The Wave by Todd Strasser
-> One of those rare books, or at least I think is rare, since it cost me a fortune to get a copy of it. It was actually part of my English curriculum in grade 8, and again, the story stuck with me. Those who know me know that I'm a WWII fiction buff, and while this storyline is not directly about WWII, it's sort of inspired from it. The fact that the book is based on a true story is also rather frightning I think, but I'll let you figure out why when you read it.

Shade's Children by Garth Nix
-> For all you sci-fi buffs out there. I don't really know sci-fi books, or what makes them good, but I really enjoyed this book. It's incredibly detailed so you have no problem picturing all the crazy things that happen, and it's a pretty neat storyline.

The Bomb by Theodore Taylor
-> You might recognise the author from his other works like "The Cay" and "Timothy of the Cay", both also very good books. The writing style of this one is similar to the "Cay" books, but the story is obviously different. It will make you think, especially of the prominent events happening nowadays. And might I add, the kind of thoughts it generates is much needed too.

The Chrysalids by David Harrower, John Wyndham
-> Read it. All I have to say. It's freaky man!

Some other titles that are great reads (I'm just too tired now to write "reviews" for them):
Silent Honor by Danielle Steel
Number the Stars by Lois Lowry
BFG by Roald Dahl
Last Cidatel by David L. Robbins (warning: you might hate the ending)
Twelfth Night by William Shakespeare
The Lost World by Michael Crichton (movie stunk, but the book was superb)

That's all I can remember for now. Have a good read!

Simple things

2004-10-13T01:04:00.000-04:00

Many times when I did something the past week and this week (thus far), I thought about the word familiarity. A sense of comfort and calm would come over me whenever I did these activities, the two that stirred more feeling than the rest being riding the subway in Toronto, and washing the dishes. I started conciously looking at what I was doing, and wonder why they caused such feelings. I dissected these certain activities, and found that though they were all very different, both held a common simplicity.
These were just everyday activities that a person does. Nothing fancy in them. Heck, since you've been doing these things for years on end (mostly for the Torontonians or the subway), you'd get sick of them. They become a chore, routine, and boring. Yet somehow, those two activities have now become a comfort to me.
I'm not sick of them. In fact, I look forward to doing them now, to get a chance to go home and ride the subway, to be alone and quietly do the dishes by myself. Riding the subway makes me feel Torontonian, something I sometimes feel like I am no longer; not a pleasant feeling for some reason. Washing the dishes is peaceful. I take my sweet time, and there is something gratifying in knowing each dish is clean, rinsed, one by one. They are familiar, and when I perform them, I feel less...uprooted.

I crave new experiences and adventures. I find it difficult to sit still. Yet, more recently, I've been thinking about how...everywhere...I am lately. How my four month stints in one place then another has created a feeling up unbelonging where ever I go.
I want to travel, oh jeebuz how I want to travel, but what I do isn't travelling. The penduluming back and forth between two cities does not create the variety that travel does. And it seems in each of my four month stints, around the end of the period, events happen that make me want to stay, but I cannot. I am forced to leave, start over yet again, and incur yet another feeling of uprootedness near the end.

On a pleasant note: I checked off another box in my "Life To-Do" list today. I could've a while back but I didn't have it with me. It's always so exciting to be able to check things off that list. ^-^

Stop and enjoy the scenery...

2004-10-04T16:49:00.000-04:00

Sunday was a day of perfect skies.

The weather for the last bit of Saturday was horrid. I don't even know why we played that one point vs. Queens. It also would've been nice for someone to tell us the game was rained out, rather than have the seven of us stand on the line like a team or drowned rats...

Anyway, back to Sunday. As the saying goes, there is always sunshine after the storm, and indeed there was. Sunday was beautiful. The morning was warmer than expected, and throughout the day the sky was a picture show of perfection. Each time I looked up it was different, but each time it was just as gorgeous. Once, the clouds were like a perfect painting, with layers upon layers of white fluff on a pure blue background. Another time, it was as if the world was turned upside down, and I was staring at the cloud made version of the Rockies. With the sunset came a chaos of oranges, pinks, purples, and greys, yet the sky was still somehow calm.

At one point during the day, while seven of us were standing on the line, I had stared and commented on the sky. A teammate told me to focus on the game, and I had replied with something that felt out of character yet completely right:

"If you don't enjoy the scenery now, then when will you...?"

Inspiring Night of Conversation

2004-09-29T23:59:00.000-04:00

I had a great chat tonight, even if it was on MSN. Everyday I'm reminded of how lucky I am to have someone so amazing, wonderful, loving, and inspiration in my life.

Here are some things from the conversation that I'd really like to share:

-------------------------------

conjob: so i had a weird thought today

Shoanes: what's that

conjob: maybe i'm in the wrong career

Shoanes: did you have a "right career" thought?

conjob: nope

Shoanes: hahaha

conjob: never did now that you bring it up

Shoanes: "Which way should I go?" said Alice.
"Well, what are you looking for?" asked Cheshire Cat.
"You see, I'm not really sure," replied Alice.
"Then, clearly, any path will do."

----------------------------------------------------

On belief:
For over a hundred years, people had tried to run the mile in less than 4 minutes. In articles written by doctors, all the scientific reasons were offered as to why it was physically impossible.
In 1957, however, a young Englishman named Roger Bannister ran the mile in 3 minutes, 59.5 seconds, and made headlines throughout the world.
Far more amazing, is what happened the following year- 47 people ran the mile in less than 4 minutes.

------------------------------------------------

Instructions for life:
Give people more than what they expected and do it cheerfully.
Memorise your fave poem.
When you say "I love you," mean it.
Believe in love at first sight.
When you say "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.
Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
Talk slowly, but think quickly.
Remember that love and achievement involve great risk.
When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
Don't let little disputes injure a great friendship.
Smile while picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
Spend some time alone.
Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
Read more books, watch less TV.
In disagreements with loved ones, deal with the current issue. Don't bring up the past.
Read between the lines.
Share your knowledge; it's the best way to keep your passions living.
Be gentle with the earth.
Express your spirituality.
Never interrupt while being flattered.
Once a year, go somewhere you've never been before.
Share your wealth, it is the greatest satisfaction.
Approach love and cooking with reckless abandonment.
When you realise you've made a mistake take immediate steps to correct it.

----------------------------------------------------

This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody.
There was an important job to be done and Everybody was asked to do it. Everybody was sure Somebody would do it.
Somebody got angry because it was Everybody's job.
Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.

------------------------------------------------

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool,
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental,
To reach out for another is to risk involvement,
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self,
To place your ideas, your dreams before the crowd is to risk their loss,
To love is to risk not being loved in return,
To live is to risk dying,
To hope is to risk despair,
To try is to risk failure.

But risks must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing and is nothing.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

This one is from a different conversation, but I thought it'd be fun to share, and a good laugh:

"ultimate fees are like taxes... you just gotta pay'em"

-----------------------------------------------

Hope you all had a good read from this :) and have a great day.

The simple life of a player...

2004-09-29T15:25:00.000-04:00

Okay...so now that you've misinterpreted the title, I'll try to explain.

I play Ultimate (for those who don't know, though I doubt you wouldn't know if you're reading this, but if you don't then welcome! :p).
Anyway, so I play Ultimate. I play a lot of Ultimate. I've been told by a friend that Ultimate to me is as close to a religion as it gets (especially for me since I'm rather anti-religious). I could even say it's become the love of my life (in a non-"lover" kind of way).
With the exception of the rare occasion, I always enjoy my time on the pitch. I revel in the joy of running my ass off, in the wonderful feeling of throwing the perfect pass, in the adrenaline that comes after a layout endzone grab. Off the pitch, I thoroughly enjoy the traditional after-Ultimate socials. The team dinners, the drinking, the hot-tubbing, and the meeting and conversing with fellow Ultimate lovers are all part of what I love so much about the sport.

Then, whether one chooses to or is volun-told to take a bigger role in the Ultimate scene, things start to get messy.
Don't get me wrong, things don't always go sour if the decision is made to captain, or coach, or do any kind of administrative work when it comes to Ultimate, but more often then not, it does. Now, before I continue to complain and rant about the job, I feel I should shoot out some of the better aspects of the job, the aspects that keep me taking this crap over and over again. I've tried many times to think of some external reason for why individuals take on these "upper" roles. I've been told it's "a thankless job," yet people still continue to pursue these jobs and keep organized Ultimate alive. Why? Two words: Personal Satisfaction. I love knowing that I've contributed something to the sport, and like the Mastercard commercials, the feeling is priceless. If people comment you on a job well done (which does happen as seldom as it does), well, that's just the icing on the cake.
Then there are the days where you want to take a pen and shove it into your eye, or better yet, into the eye's of the assholes that make you start to question your love for Ultimate. It's then when I wish I could just drop everything and go back to being "just a player". Unless a situation is so bad that a player is unfairly affected by it, players usually don't have to deal with all the politics, deadlines, administration, etc. A player just plays. (Okay, they have to pay fees too, but just to the captains who have already fronted the initial bid.) A player shows up, cleats up, warms up, and plays and plays and plays. They're told what positions to be in, what to do in set plays, and sometimes even exactly when and where to run (in this case, that's something known as "puppet-Ultimate"). Then they de-cleat, take a shower (if they're lucky), and drink and socialize and drink.

It's almost like real life (yes I think of Ultimate life and real life as separate things), where in the early stages you just live. Then, as you progress through the middle and later stages of real life, things become more complicated, and you can't "just play" anymore. And again, like real life, sometimes you just wish you could go back and just live.

Right now I just want to go back. I want to just be a player.

...kind of anti-climactic aren't I? Haha.

Forgetfulness makes me cynical...

2004-09-25T15:36:00.000-04:00

Earlier this weekend while I rode back to Toronto on the good ol' Greyhound, I had a memory. I couldn't believe how I'd forgotten about this for so long, and I felt awful about it.
Those who I've spoken to a short time after I had returned to Waterloo heard me complain and whine about the terrible ordeal I had to go through to get there that rainy Thursday morning. What no one heard about, and I had forgotten about, was the amazing kindness and generosity that was shown to me that morning by complete strangers.
I had forgotten that I had neither tokens nor cash for bus fare until I had reached the bus stop. To make my way back home would not only be a painful feat, but it would have caused me to miss my out-of-town bus. A woman and her child were at the bus stop with me, and were (what appeared to be) on their way to school. Normally, I would have made the ugly trip back home and suffer the consequences of my stupidity. However, in my state of desperation, I asked the woman if she could help me out, fully expected the usual rude "Hmph!" and the cold shoulder. I was completely surprised when she searched every pocket on her, and offered me the only change she had, which happened to be a toonie. I don't remember how many times I said thank you, but in my shocked state I'm sure it was a lot. Then, still a quarter short and the bus quickly approaching, I again did something out of character, and asked the bus driver if he would let me on without the rest of the fare. Again, expecting the worse (and those who know the TTC would understand my pessimism), I was greatly surprised a second time when he smiled and simply replied "Sure!" I spoke many thank you's again (I think I even bowed once), and made my way onto the bus.
It was with the help of these two incredibly generous individuals that I was able to catch my bus that morning. Their actions that made me think, "Maybe the world isn't doomed after all." Sadly, through the frenzy of it all, I had only remembered and shared to others the negative events of that morning. Those who had deserved recognition and the inspirational events that occured had been pushed aside in my mind; not only a terrible thing to have done, but also a worrying thought.
The experiences and actions of one person obviously can not be taken as the norm for the general population. However, to know that one person has become so cynical that these acts of kindness were forgotten for such a long time is a little, if not a lot unnerving. Is this why people are so pessimistic and sad these days? Because not only is the worst expected, but when the best occurs, it is forgotten. I remember the feeling of being overwhelmed that morning, and wanting to give the woman and the bus driver a huge hug (I'm still wondering why I didn't), but then the sun set, then rose again, and all was forgotten.
How I managed to do such a thing is still a mystery to me, but I am glad at least eventually I remembered. To know that these two fabulous people exist out there brings a smile to my face, and makes me just that little bit less pessimistic. I hope that little girl knows how wonderful a mother she has, and that the TTC knows it has one awesome employee.

Maturity

2004-09-23T09:29:00.000-04:00

-September 21, 2004

I felt small today.
Not metaphorically, but literally.
As I was walking through campus towards the co-op office today, I suddenly felt very small. A very "Alice in Wonderland" feeling, where I felt like I'd physically shrunk into a small person (not that I'm not already!).
That feeling of smallness then translated into a feeling of childishness. And I felt like a child, one that didn't belong on the campus through which I was walking, one that was lost in this world of "big" people.
That feeling then provoked the memory of an idea on immaturity once presented to me by someone inertly wise.

"It is more mature to recognize immaturity and still choose to act immature, than to continue to act mature without recognizing what maturity is."

Due to my terribly poor memory, I'm not sure if that is exactly what he said or meant, so I may have just typed out a whole bunch of jibberish. What do you think?

I feel like this needs an update

2004-09-14T13:18:00.000-04:00

So I guess here it goes. It's been such a long while I've forgotten quite a few of the happenings along the way. I'm now back in Waterloo and starting my first week of classes. Sad to say but this used to be exciting, but now it's just a drag. I've gone to four of my five classes for the term, and have yet to be happy about a single one. It's school, it bites, and I wish I had a longer summer.
This past weekend I went to Hamilton for Unknown Legends, and overall, it was a good weekend. This coming weekend I will be in Guelph for Stall Fall. Then I'll have a little break before University Easterns and Nationals.

I've become bored of this update...the need to update has been subdued.

Spontaneous adventures are the best kind.

2004-09-02T16:37:00.000-04:00

We look down the hill. We look at each other. Oh yeah. Lets do it.

---

Shawn and I went through a trek in the woods yesterday, in an attempt to find a shorter way to make it to my Ultimate game. Never did make it to the game, but boy was it fun trying.

After checking out all the directions and maps to the park, we'd left more than an hour before game time. We did the whole TTC thing, and then the story starts.
I'd messed up on the stop and we'd gotten off the bus too early. We ended up walking for at least 5-10mins before we got to one of the path entrances to the park. Walking in and along that for 10mins, we realized we were totally lost. Asking a jogger for directions, she said that the field was a long walk back in the opposite direction from where we came in, and then another kilometre up a huge hill. I remembered that crappy walk from the last time I was there (about 2 yrs ago), and decided "screw that". Remembering how the map looked from when I'd checked earlier in the day, I said we should walk back along the street.
We walked till where it looked like it was the boundaries of the park and still found no right entrance. We decided to follow the "boundary" of the park and went by this construction site beside a church. The construction site would've made a pretty sweet paintballing site, had we had paintballs and guns with us, but I digress.
Behind the site was a pretty nice little baseball field. Walking to the woods that lined the edge of the baseball field, we found a big steep wooded hill, from which you could see a path that went through the park. A small stream that separated the two, and after a little deliberation, we went for it.
We went down the stupid steep hill which was a little muddy, and some pretty scary stuff since it was slippy and there wasn't much to break your fall. Then we got to the stream where we had the episode that got my runners looking the way they do now.
In my sad attempt to follow Shawn's path to the edge of the stream, I got stuck up to my ankles in some crazy quicksand-like mud. It was scary and hilarious trying to get out of it, and I was in so deep that I almost lost my right shoe.
After the mud fiasco was smooth sailing. We hopped some rocks to cross the stream, then finally made it to the path. We walked along the path in the direction we thought the park was in, and lo and behold....we end up in EDWARDS GARDENS!!!!! By then it was already 8pm and had missed the game completely, so we hung out in the gardens till sunset.

It was a FABOULOUS day :)

Red Air...

2004-09-02T16:23:00.000-04:00

The air was an erie red when I stepped outside. It was becoming dark, yet there was a brightness that caused me to squint. The contrast made the greens appear greener, and the sky was the bluest I'd seen in a long time. As I walked towards my destination, the clouds soaked up the red tint, dying the yellow and silver clouds a soft pink and orange.
Then streetlamps came on with their ever familiar hum, and I went into the underground.

-August 25th, 2004; on the walk from East General to Coxwell station

Tragedy at rush hour...

2004-08-25T13:20:00.000-04:00

Something crazy happened near work this morning. There was a hostage situation a few minutes walk from where I work. There's an online story on it already http://www.thestar.com/NASApp/cs/ContentServer?pagename=thestar/Layout/Article_Type1&c=Article&amp;cid=1093428104801&call_pageid=968332188492&col=968793972154

It was good to read that the first injured woman and the hostage escaped relatively unharmed, but the death of the hostage taker is sitting rather uneasy.

Was is really necessary to take his life? It was stated in the article that, "the ETF officer made a decision to shoot the man fearing for the safety of the woman, police and passersby." That was most probably true, and completely understandable. But it was stated that the police had been negotiating with the hostage taker for over an hour. Would that not instill even the slightest feeling of progression that would continue the attempt to negotiate? What had he done after all that time that changed the situation into a lethal one?

And why was a head shot necessary? If it is possible to aim for such a small target as a human head, why not shoot the hand holding the weapon? The shot may still be fatal, but there is a possiblity for no loss of life.

This is probably an overanalysis into the situation. It just irks me slightly when the final result of such situations is a fatality. I would probably have a different opinion of I was the hostage too...

Return from the West

2004-08-24T16:21:00.000-04:00

I would put Triumphant Return from the West, but I'd be lying.
Though Liquid faired well in their final two days of games at the Canadian Ultimate Championships, some of us can't help but feel a little disappointed at our results. An 1-8 record for our first year at Nationals was not what we had hoped for. We had won the game that really mattered, helping us finish at the same seeding that entered at, but it was more than possible to have placed at a higher spot.
Our scores are as follows. Details on games to come.

Day 1 - Thursday August 19th, 2004:
-->Game 1: Liquid - 6, Joyride (Vancouver) - 15
-->Game 2: Liquid - 6, Bombing Madd Fatties (Toronto) - 15
-->Game 3: Liquid -2, Panik (Quebec) - 15

Day 2 - Friday August 20th, 2004:
-->Game 1: Liquid - 11, Krank (Halifax) - 14
-->Game 2: Liquid - 11, Seven (Ottawa) - 14
-->Game 3: Liquid - 14, Rotterdam (Toronto) - 16

Day 3 - Saturday August 21st, 2004:
-->Game 1: Liquid - , Prairie Snatch (Prairies) -
-->Game 2: Liquid - , Dragoon (BC) -
-->Game 3: Liquid - 9, Rotterdam (Toronto) - 0

Vancouver and Nats Prep

2004-08-18T00:52:00.000-04:00

Current time: Vancouver - 9:41pm, Toronto - 12:51am

Man my internal time settings are so messed up now.

So now I'm here in Vancouver. Nationals starts in two days. First game at 8:30am on Thursday. The tibia is feeling good. The ankle is feeling so much better. Pumped and ready to rock!

We're visiting the Gaia store tomorrow. Don't know what else. I'm in Vancouver. SWEEET!

insert slew of profanities here

2004-08-13T11:51:00.000-04:00

I went to the Liquid practice yesterday. I tossed. I ran. I played a few points.
It felt so great.
Then I rolled my right ankle. It sounded like a loud knuckle crack.
Bollucks.

Been icing it all day. It's still the size of a golf ball. Wish I could be a healthy scratch.

YAY Nationals! Here comes the gimp!

Pink Skies

2004-08-11T16:32:00.000-04:00

Ever notice how the sky always becomes a beautiful colour during sunset? No matter where you are in the world, or what the weather may have been like, once the sun starts leaving the sky, it leaves a gorgeous sea of warm colours. (This most likely happens during sunrise as well, but I'm rarely awake then, so I've yet to fully enjoy those colours.)
I hadn't thought about sunsets for a long time now, and it was only when someone mentioned yesterday about how nice the sunset was that I even looked upwards.
It reminded me of the old house, and the many hours I had spent on the roof staring up at the sky. During the day, evening, and night times, I could stay on that roof forever.
I remember watching the comet showers there, and was able to make almost a hundred wishes, even though the night had been rather cloudy.
Rooftop sunsets are the most beautiful of all. With open skies all around, you are surrounded by all the colours. On the perfect summer evening, hours could pass as you watch the sky change from pink, to orange, to red, to purple, and finally to a deep deep blue. Then as though such a spectacle wasn't a treat enough, you are presented with a sky that "resembles a backlit canopy, with holes punched in it." (Incubus quote. I couldn't resist.) Absolutely gorgeous.

I wonder what colours I'll get to see today...

-------------------------------------------------------
Incubus - Wish You Were Here (Morning View 2001)

I dig my toes into the sand
the ocean looks like a thousand diamonds
strewn across a blue blanket
I lean against the wind
pretend that I am weightless
and in this moment I am happy, happy

I wish you were here
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
I wish you were here

I lay my head onto the sand
the sky resembles a backlit canopy
with holes punched in it
I'm counting UFO's
I signal them with my lighter
and in this moment I am happy, happy

I wish you were here
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
I wish you were here

The world's a roller coaster
and I am not strapped in
maybe I should hold with care
but my hands are busy in the air

I say
I wish you were here
I wish you were
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
wish you were here

Pull for a Cure Charity Tournament

2004-08-10T15:36:00.000-04:00

On the subject of Ultimate, there is a Charity tournament called Pull for a Cure on Saturday, August 28th, 2004. It is a tournament to support the Canadian Cancer Society and looks to be a ton of fun.
If anyone is interested in playing or making a pledge please contact me ASAP :)

YAY CANADIAN ULTIMATE!!!

2004-08-10T14:50:00.000-04:00

Yeah...this is a little late and everything, but a HUGE CONGRATS to all of the Canadian teams that went to Finland for Worlds Ultimate Championships!
Canada won gold in the Open, Women's, and Junior Women's divisions, and silver in the Mixed, Masters, and Junior Open divisions. With 6 Ultimate divisions in total, this makes Canada the #1 Ultimate nation in the world!!!

For more tid-bits on Worlds Ultimate, please visit http://www.wugc2004.org/ or http://www.lookflynews.com or http://www.teamcanadaultimate.com/

YAY CANUCK ULTIMATE!!

At the Cottage

2004-08-10T10:14:00.000-04:00

It was Trev's cottage weekend thing this past weekened. He has the most gorgeous cottage ever. I think Tomkins (not sure if that's how it's spelled) said it best, "This place is nicer than my house!" The place was huge and absolutely amazing. Beautiful view of the lake, and the weather was so nice to us too. It would be awesome to go on a week long retreat or something there. With the exception of when we partied, it was so chillin'. Just lounging around on the deck all day, taking in the sun and sweet smelling air. It was the perfect escape from the city...now I get those "Discover Ontario" ads :)
When we did party, it was awesome too! The guys had made "cottage" shirts (only for the guys though...bums :p) and then the girls decided to pick up some wifebeaters so we had shirts too (yay Bronwyn, Kate, Mugs!). The shirts were like something out of frosh week, with Sharpies all around for doodles or "merit badges". You got a badge for certain things (like funneling, etc.) and were the best idea's ever!
Saturday night was a blast. Burgers and such were the food of choice in the early evening. Some funneling was performed before all of the sun was gone (as per my shirt of the weekend, I am a funnel virgin no more :D). Then, came the PPP.

PPP deserves a paragraph all it's own. All the rules of not mixing your alcohol goes flying out the window as Pink Pantie Pulldown is an odd concoction of beer, vodka, and pink lemonade concentrate, all mixed in a cooler with ice. Shawn had a great description of it, and I quote:

"PPP is like the Bond girl of alcoholic beverages: It's obviously dangerous and you know it'll f**k you over in the end, but you can't resist its suble charms."

'Tis a yummy but evil drink, and it's effects stay latent until it decides to smack you like a hammer and leave you wondering the next morning about odd merit badges drawn on your shirt...oh...uh...wait...

Sunday included more chillin'. I now have a new opinion of KD (Trev's a good cook), though I'm sure adding ground beef, tomatoes, onions, and "Ash-spice" will make anything from a paper box taste better. Scored a ride back to Toronto too (yay Laura!), so saved the train ticket cost.

Super-fantastic weekend it was indeed :D

Questions on Respect

2004-08-09T15:59:00.000-04:00

Assuming that respect can come in varying degrees, is it possible to admire certain traits of a person, yet have little respect for them? A thesaurus states that admiration and respect are synonyms of one another, but synonymous does not mean the same. So does that mean admiration can exist without respect? So then what is it that makes one person lose respect for another? Is it a sudden event that creates that lack of respect, or can it be gradual? So gradual in fact that you don’t even notice until one day something just clicks, and you realize that the respect you used to hold for the person is gone? And once it’s gone, is it ever possible to regain that respect? Or is it lost forever?

Hilarious read

2004-08-04T15:57:00.000-04:00

This is pretty funny. Please read at your own discretion though, as it might be in poor taste to some.

http://citypages.com/databank/25/1227/article12184.asp

On the subway train...

2004-08-04T11:58:00.000-04:00

She had a devious, michievous smile. The corners of her mouth like paint cracks in the ceiling. They bent too far up when she smirked, like her mouth was cut too wide for her face. Oddly, it was not she with the too wide mouth that spoke, but her accomplice. The sidekick spoke without cessation, much to the annoyance of all those around. For the entire ride I didn't see the loud one's face.

-August 3rd, 2003; on the train ride to Don Mills station.

Epiphanies from E-mails on August the 3rd.

2004-08-04T11:43:00.000-04:00

Some might think I’ve wasted an entire workday; I spent today emailing a couple of friends back and forth. It was more productive than anything else I could’ve done.

On speaking up:
There are times when people feel as though it would be a waste of their breath to tell someone what’s on their mind. Sometimes that could be true, but that is very seldom the case, and there is a lot to gain from voicing your opinions. Most times, there are even other people in the same boat that have something to say too, and collectively you will most likely be heard the way you want. Besides, unless there are special circumstances, you have anything to lose anyway.
Best case scenario: the person you talk to hears you, understands where your concerns stem from, and everyone tries and works towards something better.
Worst case scenario: they don't hear a word you're saying, the entire situation is driven into the ground, and meanwhile you’ve moved on to green pastures because your ideas are appreciated somewhere else.
The only thing you lose out on is the couple of minutes to half an hour of explaining what your concerns are. And though those few minutes can be very precious to you (Aww man, I could’ve used those minutes to sit on or scratch my arse!), at least you know you tried.

On Spirit of the Game:
When did being competitive and playing hard make you an unspirited player?
I think there's starting to be a skewed idea of what Spirit is in Ultimate. Somehow, people's interpretation of Spirit has started to lead some players to think that it only exists in recreational level Ultimate. True, that joking around and fun games after Ultimate matches is Spirit, but somehow because competitive teams don't usually do those things, then it seems there is no Spirit in high-level Ultimate.
Example: Ultimate player X clowns around, makes people laugh, plays silly games, is always smiling, but all the while knowingly breaks some rules, and lets teammates get away with broken rules. Ultimate player Y tries never to break the rules, calls self fouls when they occur, apologizes for incidental contacts, and all the while plays hard, aggressive, and makes legitimate calls on other players.
Not to say it happens all the time, but it has indeed happened before. Viewpoints are: Player X is full of Spirit; player Y is a pompous ass.
Observation: Though it is great that the Ultimate is growing at such an impressive rate, it seems like it has grown too much too fast. There is a severe lack of education when it comes to Spirit of the Game in Ultimate, which in turn is creating a lack of knowledge of SOTG in general. Too many players are on the pitch with the wrong impression of what Spirit is…
As for my belief of what Spirit of the Game is, I think John Harris' article in the most recent edition of TUC’s PiePlate said it best:
"Here is my (John Harris') list of 5 steps needed to fully play with Spirit. --- When all players in a game are following steps 1 to 5, then the game will truly be Spirited.

Step 1 - I will try not to break the rules.
Step 2 - I will not allow myself to get away with breaking the rules.
Step 3 - I will encourage my teammates to follow steps 1 & 2. I will tell them when I think they are not.
Step 4 - I will believe that ALL players (myself, my teammates, and my opponents) are doing their best to follow steps 1,2, and 3.
Step 5 - I will accept that different perspectives will see different outcomes.

---In some ways, playing with SOTG is more difficult that playing without. However, I believe the extra effort is well worth it."

On GUTS:
Last summer I created, with a huge amount of help from my friends, an open-roster touring team devoted to fun, development, and Spirit of the Game. GUTS was my baby, and boy did the team decked out in neon green exceed my wildest dreams. This summer season, I chose to captain a different, more established open-roster touring team. It’s been fun, and as much as I’ve enjoyed being at the helm of MMV, I’ve realized too late this season how proud I am of GUTS, and of the core players that made up the team. I had given that bright green banner too little credit, and to those I have disappointed, I am truly sorry.As I grow as a competitive Ultimate player through Liquid (and maybe the UW Women’s team), I am hoping to continue building the base of GUTS. Things will be different than the previous season, and everything obviously cannot happen if I am now too late, but here’s to hoping some things can be salvaged.

Pre-review.

2004-08-04T11:40:00.000-04:00

One big posting to fill in the blanks from the modblog account. Yay cut and paste. You can read all the old stuff at http://conjob.modblod.com . I'm only bringing over some stuff.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

July 16, 2004 - Do you know a story that goes like this?...

"There once was a tiger-striped cat.

This cat died a million deaths and was reborn a million times

...and was owned by various people who he didn't care for.

The cat wasn't afraid to die...

One day, the cat was a free cat, a stray cat.

He met a white female cat, and the two cats spent their days happily together.

Years passed by,

and the white cat died of old age.

The tiger-striped cat cried a million times,

and then died.

It never came back to life..."

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July 15, 2004 - Literary Battle of the Sexes

Received from an English Professor: "This assignment was actually turned in by two of my English students: Rebecca and Gary."

English 44A

SMU

Creative Writing

Professor Miller

In-class assignment for Wednesday: Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth. Remember to reread what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached.

Start:

At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.

Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A. S. Harris to Geostation 17", he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ships cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Sklylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel." Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth - when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.

Little did she know, but she has less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through Congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion which vaporized Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow'em out of the sky!"

This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic, semi-literate adolescent.

Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium.

End.

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July 13, 2004 - Prominent thoughts

On writing:

I think about how perhaps writing, though in any form is mostly great, when typed, is not as real as it would be if written by hand. When typing, one can fill in lines before other lines to create understanding and flow in a piece. When typing, one can simply push “Backspace” or “Delete” and remove all that was in error. I am doing that as I write right now, moulding these words to my will. Yet, I cannot help but feel like I am cheating, that this is not writing in its purest form. Typing may produce cleaner results, yet it still feels rather artificial. There are not smudges of words, no scratching noise as my pencil runs across the paper, no chaotic black voids that were once words but were decided that they should not be. Yet I still continue to type, as I’ve come to realize, as much as I love to write by hand, it cannot physically sustain the stress required to put all my thoughts onto paper.

On change:

Things will always change, this I have accepted for a long time now. Change can be good, it can be bad, it can sometimes even be beautiful. “The only constant in life is change.” The irony of that statement is what makes it speak volumes. It came to me as this month began, though not so long ago, and it has been in my mind ever since. I cannot help but think that I have changed, but then I thought, have I really? I’ve wished hard to change, for I wasn’t pleased with whom I was. There was much that I despised of myself in the past, and I had strived to try and change. Now a new saying has started to emerge; “A leopard cannot change its spots.” Is it the truth? If so then I haven’t changed. Perhaps I’ve only suppressed the things that I despised of myself. So is that change then? Or just detouring from who I really am, and eventually will revert to in the end? I thought I’d gotten past the point of self-pity, past the point of that childish thought, that a beautiful knight on a bright white horse will save me from the tower that I, myself, had put in the first place. So if I force myself not to search, not to pursue such childish thoughts. Will that be a change in who I am? Or am I simply not being “myself”? But then again, who or what defines who I really am?

On passion:

I have met two amazing people in the recent past that have an immense passion for life. One, though I’ve known of his existence for a while, I have only created a friendship with as of late. The other, I have grown rather fond of in the short time we have shared. From both I have learned to open my eyes, remembered to laugh, and am inspired to find a personal calm. From them I have also learned that passion need not exist only in reckless forms, but can clearly be seen in the most basic of tasks. One who leads a simple life can easily possess a great deal more passion than one who leads an incredibly flamboyant one. A rather simple concept, yet hard for me to grasp till now.I remain in awe, and in slight envy, of how they both live their lives. These two great people put an incredible amount of passion into everything they do; sometimes just watching them at their tasks is enough to bring a smile to my face. I look to the day where I may possess a fraction of the passion they do and am content.

Second time around...

2004-08-04T11:32:00.000-04:00

Stupid Sun Life firewall.

So I'm trying this blog thing again. Hopefully this time Sun Life won't firewall me from this server. The whole point of creating the blog thing was so I could post stuff while at work since I have so little time at home to do so now.

So here we go again...